


Life in Thedas

by Xxrach8765xx



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Blood and Injury, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Minor Character Death, Minor Character(s), Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:20:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 32,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xxrach8765xx/pseuds/Xxrach8765xx
Summary: The imagination is a mysterious thing. It can create worlds, bubbles that people can pull themselves into. What if another world was created? What if it wasn’t just my imagination? What if Thedas is real? Well I’m Emy or Emilia to some.  I’m about to find out just how real it is for myself.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Male Hawke/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I apologise now Im still very new with fanfiction but I do hope you like my story

The imagination is a mysterious thing. It can create worlds, bubbles that people can pull themselves into. What if another world was created? What if it wasn’t just my imagination? What if Thedas is real? Well I’m Emy or Emilia to some. I’m about to find out just how real it is for myself.

This is my story how i ended up in a world so different from my own. I love music and singing, i was an avid gamer and when I had the time. When I was home from work i would always either play games or play the piano and sing. I was a nurse in the local hospital where i would 3 or 4 16 hour shifts a week.

I had spent many hours playing the franchises mass effect and dragon age over and over again, okay maybe avid gamer wasn’t quite right, how about repetitive? When i found games i enjoyed they would be the ones I would spend most of my free time on.my parents adopted me when I was a baby, I don’t actually know where I’m from. I have a sister Iris she is all that is left of my world. Our mum died when we were younger. Our father was a violent drunk so we tried to stay away from him although in my case it didn’t always work he would show up to the emergency department on many occasions fucked out of his face screaming and shouting for me. He would get violent on many occasions that now when he shows up security are already waiting for him.

I had picked up a shorter shift this week I had decided a fourth 16-hour shift was too much especially since ED had been absolute chaos. So, I had decided to go in and help with the morning rounds then spend the rest of the day relaxing at home playing my games. It was a 15 minute drive from the hospital to my house. Throughout the day the weather had turned awful. There had been a weather warning mentioned on the news. I had only seen two seconds of it due to being so busy, so i hadn’t really paid attention. The rain was coming down and it was extremely difficult to see driving home. As soon as I had parked the car I sighed in relief, it really was an awful drive home. I got out of the car and locked it and ran for the house, the rain was coming down extremely hard and it looked so dark like a storm was brewing “great just fucking great I hope there isn’t thunder and lightning” i grit out to myself. Once i made it in she relocked the door behind me, I watched far too many crime shows made me very paranoid. I took a quick shower, changed into my pyjamas and made a cup of tea. As I sat down on her sofa, I turned on the television and loaded up the PlayStation in order to play a new game of inquisition. Suddenly there was a loud crash outside and the power went off “great just fucking great no power” i muttered as i jumped. The thunder sounded like it got closer and closer until it sounded like it was right on top of the house. There was a large crash above the house then nothing.

I awoke sometime later my head was bleeding profusely. I couldn’t remember what had happened or where i was, all I knew is that I was extremely cold and my head was in a lot of pain. As I tried to right myself and sit up I was hit with a wave of nausea before rolling over, throwing up and passing out again.

The second time I woke up, I couldn’t see straight the pain was overwhelming. I gently touched my head to find that the wound on my head still hadn’t clotted and that i was still bleeding so I surmised that i couldn’t of been unconscious for too long. I then noticed how cold it was and that i was wet. I needed to move before I became hypothermic. I needed medical attention and fast. I tried to sit up again but the blinding pain in my head wasn’t agreeing to sitting up.  
It took me a while to gain my bearings, as i tried to stand it took a couple of attempts before i could kind of stand. I placed my hand to my head with a wince and found it was covered in blood “shit” i winced again. I tried to walk but fell down a few times before being able to stumble forwards. I had no idea where I was going I just walked, i could barely see, my vision was so blurry and the world was moving around the world appeared to be on a permanent tilt and I could barely make anything out. 

I didn’t know how long i was walking for, or well stumbling seemed more accurate. The pain in my head was getting worse and the bleeding still hadn’t slowed. I knew she had to seek medical help as soon as possible or i was in very big trouble. My pyjamas had began to freeze solid and my vision was getting worse. I had vomited a few times. Walking was becoming more difficult and i could barely comprehend much more of what was going on. I continued on for what I thought was another half a mile before falling down again. This time I landed on my hand in such an awkward way i let out a yelp. Between the pain in my head and in the hand it was enough for me to want succumb to the darkness once more.  
As I lay on the ground i could vaguely make out voices “help I need help” i slurred my vision cleared for a moment when i saw him “Cullen your real?” I slurred more before passing out completely

“Commander do you know this girl? “another asked  
“no seeker Cassandra I’ve never met her in my life. I don’t know how she knows me but we best get her some help” he replied


	2. Chapter 2

“very well and then we shall get some answers” Cassandra continued “are you happy to carry her to the healers?  
“I believe so can you go ahead and tell them that she is in bad condition” 

Light came back to me slowly i squinted as I tried to open my eyes. I vaguely noticed the two guards stood in the room with me. When i tried to move my hand to my head i found that it wouldn’t move, it was bound to the side of the cot that i was laying on. I then tried to use my other arm but yelped loudly when pain lanced through it and couldn’t move it. “ah”. As i tried to sit up I could barely move the pain was agonising and I was very dizzy. 

A woman came up to me and sat next to me “ here let me help you” she said they struggled to sit me up, the nurse then turned to one of the guards “ go and tell the commander and the seeker that she is awake” she looked back at me when she thought I was stable enough to sit up by myself and picked up a mug to fill it with something “ here drink this slowly” she spoke  
I just nodded and drank as the nurse held the cup to my mouth. I barely drank more than a sip or two seemingly had enough “fair nuff” the healer said although she didn’t seem happy that I hadn’t had more to drink.   
The guard who had run off came back and tapped the other on the shoulder signing to say they were leaving. Three people came walking in. One man and two women. One of the women told the healers to leave whilst they spoke to me. I tried to shrink back on the cot especially as she had recognised who had come into to question me. I was afraid they had come to kill me.

“your awake” the man said Cullen Rutherford the commander of the inquisition  
“hello” i meekly replied and wouldn’t make eye contact  
“you know who I am” he asked  
I nodded “yes I know who you all are “ my voice was hoarse and I began coughing  
“and who may we be?” Another voice asked  
“ you are sister Leliana also known as nightingale and in Cassandra’s words you’re the inquisition’s spymaster” I nodded over to Cassandra the other women in the room she looked very imposing so she tried avoid eye contact “ Cullen is the commander and Cassandra is a seeker she and you are the hands of the divine” I stopped to try and catch my breath, I was finding it very hard to get my words out and was now coughing every couple of words.

“and just how do you know all of this? Who are you a spy for?” Leliana asked in such a chilling way I was afraid she would murder me there and then with a look  
“you wouldn’t believe me if I told you” I replied tears in my eyes as I looked down to the ground  
“try me” she spoke surprisingly less scary then before  
“I’m not from here, I don’t remember how I got here just that I know I’m in haven. All I do remember is getting home after work. Then I remember waking up and being very cold and in a hell of a lot of pain.”  
“Where do you come from? Your clothing is very strange and not made of materials we have?” Cullen asked  
“Okay so these are what are called pyjamas or night clothes. This will be the bit you won’t believe me” I sighed “even I don’t believe me”  
“we have seen many things we believe to be impossible we maybe more open minded than you think” I startled as I saw Leliana speak   
“ um where I come from I um… I don’t come from Thedas. I come from a place called England I’m honestly not sure how far it is away from here. I can tell you that I doubt I can get back” the crying started at this point “I know of the inquisitions events, the choices that can be made and the outcome of these events.”  
“Can you prove this? You are a strange woman who just showed up so we need some proof that you are not a spy. “Cassandra grunted  
“Um okay so has the herald woken up yet?” I asked  
“The who?” Cullen agitatedly asked his hand on the hilt of his sword ready to use if he needed too which just made me more anxious. “You will send them off to the Hinterlands with well you “ I looked at Cassandra “ Solas an eleven mage and Varric a dwarf with a crossbow called Bianca. You go to speak a chantry sister called mother Giselle. There you see mages and Templar’s at each other’s throats and the devastation its caused. You meet corporal Vale who asks for extra help in stabilising the hinterlands.” I explain  
Cassandra paled whilst Leliana and Cullen looked to her for confirmation “we have only just received word that mother Giselle would like to meet with us. But how could you know? You were not with us when we received word of this.”  
“I know of events, the choices that can be made and the results. I can’t say too much because I can change those events and put people’s lives more at risk. I can tell you bits here and there just I need to be careful I don’t say anything that can kill anyone. I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me.” I continued on  
“so what else can you tell us?” Cullen snapped and everyone just looked at him.


	3. Chapter 3

“um okay so Val Royeaux is next on the travel list. There you will see chantry sisters try to belittle the inquisition. The Templar’s will arrive and one of them will punch the chantry sister in the face” I wince “sorry Cassandra I know you don’t approve of it but the people will look to you for guidance as they become scared of the Templar’s and the chaos. There will also be two people that can be recruited here. Enchanter Vivienne and a red Jenny Sera. You will also speak to Grand Enchanter Fiona. I can’t tell you anymore and risk changing anything for the worst.” I told them.   
“Thank you” Leliana said as she came to untie my hand “your information could prove useful”  
“I will help you anyway I can I just ask for one thing in return” I start to worry as her face changes  
“oh, and what is that?” She asks  
“I don’t know how to live in a world like this. It’s very different to what I know and how I have lived all I ask for is help to survive please”  
“that was never in doubt” she replied “ we will keep you safe it seems your just as important as this herald you talk about, we will brief the inquisitor on this whilst you rest and I shall come back in a few bells with some food for you”  
“thank you” I replied  
“the healer needs you to drink this it’s a sleeping draught it appears magic doesn’t heal you like it does us, so your body needs rest.” She explained as she handed me back the mug the healer had originally given me. “okay” I drank the drink “ and thank you for not treating me like I am crazy. I’m not sure how to feel at the moment it makes it easier knowing you don’t believe I’m crazy” I smiled at them.  
I started to feel the need for sleep to take over as I lay myself back down with the help of Cassandra and let sleep claim me.  
As the three of them left Cullen stopped and looked towards Leliana “so do you believe her?”  
“I do not know but she didn’t appear to be lying if she was then she is extremely good at it. I believe in time we will get our answers but to at least play along in the meantime. If she is being honest then we will need to protect her. They already believe us to be heretics harbouring the divine’s murderer having someone who can see these events may put us in the path of trouble. This herald and the girl will be the first ones they come looking for.”

After a few hours I was awoken by Cullen and Leliana “hello” I spoke quietly I barely had a voice the coughing wasn’t as bad as before but I was struggling with breathing. My head was still in agony and my vision was still blurry and my arm was splinted and bandaged. “It occurs to us that whilst we questioned you we didn’t ask your name or what happened to you” Cullen began as I looked at him and Leliana “my name is Emy while Emilia Carpenter but I prefer Emy” I began “I don’t actually know what happened” I sighed  
“When we found you. You were at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, unconscious and bleeding badly we tried to heal you with magic but it only worked enough that you were not dying anymore. You were very injured the healer says it will take time for you to heal especially as magic doesn’t affect you the way it would for us”.Leliana explained I continued to look at them not quite sure I understood what they were saying “the healer wants you to remain here for a few more days then the inquisitor would like to meet with you” Cullen explained  
“Wait inquisitor?” I interrupted  
“Yes, the champion of Kirkwall answered our pleas for help he is our inquisitor, he is currently out on a mission at this time”, Cullen continued  
“This….. this is different to the events I know of”   
“How so?” Leliana asked  
“I’m not sure I should be saying anything I don’t want to put anyone at risk I have to be careful of what I say and when I say it” I supplied I was beginning to get very breathless  
“I think that is enough for now we should let you rest I will come back later to talk to you” Leliana explained I nodded as I was sure my words would fail me.

Meanwhile outside. “so, Sister Nightingale what do you think?” Cullen asked  
“Whilst I do not believe she is a threat directly or that she is lying I do believe that there will be issues that arise” Cassandra supplied  
“I concur I will have my scouts do some digging but I believe that the best course of action is to give her a job and a place to stay here with us at least for now” Leliana surmised  
“You cannot be serious” Cullen outraged  
“I am perfectly serious commander. A spy often lets their guard down when they believe they are not a threat. Whilst I am unsure of what she says I do believe she knows things that she shouldn’t, I am loathe to admit that we may benefit from her knowledge, it does not mean I trust her she has not earned that right”. Leliana continued  
“So, what shall we do with her?” Cullen asked  
“as I said commander give her a job and a place to sleep and see what she does, I will be monitoring her very carefully. There will be no secrets she can keep from me,


	4. Chapter 4

if she is a spy she will die it is a simple plan no? ” Leliana looked at both Cullen and Cassandra. “Cassandra can we please find her some clothes ones that she won’t stand out any more than she already will please”. Cassandra nodded and bowed her head to Cullen before leaving.

It took almost a week before the healer was happy enough to let me leave the infirmary my head was still sore but not to the extent it was, my arm was also broken and had to remain splinted and bandaged. My memory was still not quite right and my words were confused at times but that was because of the concussion I had suffered. Leliana had come to meet me from the infirmary and asked me to walk with her to the Chantry.

She asked if she could know more about me I was sure it was because she was trying to work me out. I was surprised she was more open minded about my arrival and my being there then I gave her credit for I felt bad because I had judged her by her game character. I explained to her that I had not long finished university and that I was a nurse which was similar to a healer that I worked in chaotic emergency department which was similar to the infirmary. I explained to her that I could only give them information at certain times if I was to do it too early then I may mess things up and kill too many people to which surprisingly Leliana understood. 

I didn’t know what Leliana had already planned, but I did know her well enough to know that she would have me followed all the time and that I would not be out of her sight. “after your meeting with the inquisitor Cassandra will come to meet you to show you where you will be staying. The healers are happy to offer you a job once they believe that you are medically well to work. I expect you to keep to your word and provide the information you said you would provide” Leliana explained as we drew near to the war room

“I will tell you what I can and when I can, as I explained I cannot tell you too early for the risk of killing too many people and changing the outcomes for the worst, but I promise you I will help in any way I can and provide you with all the information I can when I can”. I answered  
“For some reason I believe you. I have faith in you and I do not know why as I do not know you, but for some reason I believe everything you have said. But make no mistake miss Carpenter if I find out you have lied to me or withheld anything that could pose a risk to the inquisition or its people I will kill you myself”. Leliana gave me a cold hard stare I do not want to fuck with this woman ever  
“I understand thank you Leliana I appreciate everything you have done for me and I promise I will try not to let you down “.

“Come the inquisitor will want to speak to you, we have not told him of your origins as to be fair we are unsure what to think ourselves, so I have told him you are a seer from Rivain, it might also help if you tell me what you did to live, I take it you worked no?” Leliana asked me  
“Um yes I was a nurse, or well you call us healers, I went to university to become what you would call a qualified healer meaning education was needed similar to doctors going into education” I explained Leliana looked quite pleased with this “oh Josie will love you, your educated and you’re a hard worker by the sounds of your accomplishments” she gave me a genuine smile. We continued on into the Chantry towards the war room I gasped as I looked around, candles were lit up everywhere the stone walls of the chantry looked rustic it was beautiful” wow its stunning “ I sighed smiling Leliana watched me out of the corner of her eye, I think she was unsure if I meant what I said. We continued on and she opened the war room door and led me inside. There I was met with Cassandra, an angry looking Cullen a cautious Josie and an intrigued Hawke. ”so, this is the Rivani seer?” He asked he was giving me a strange look “you don’t look like you are from Rivain”  
“Um” I looked at Leliana and she nodded encouragingly “Im not originally from Rivain in fact I don’t know where I am from just that a kind woman and her daughter took me in when I was young.’ I explained  
“What about your father?’” Cullen interrupted  
Anxiety hit me full on my father makes me very uncomfortable. “I haven’t had a father since I was eight” I was succinct I tried to end the chat about my father as quickly as I could  
“And why not?” Cullen looked smug he could see I was anxious I took a deep breath and before I knew it “he was a violent drunk and he murdered my mother, he would show up to my work to scream and shout at me after he had drank too much, so can we please not talk about him anymore” I was on the verge of tears. “you claim to know events that have not happened, Seeker Pentaghast has explained This Herald you talk about? As well as a letter that arrived from a Mother Giselle seeking aid, yet we told no one of this and you know, so enlighten me please and tell me more” Hawke asked  
“Okay but what I’m about to say will not be good, I can only tell you what you need to know and when you need to know it” I began to explain and Hawke put up his hand to stop me  
“Can I ask why?, I mean there must be a reason why you are saying a need to know basis?” He asked  
“Okay so imagine you have the knowledge of future events that can lead to different outcomes, now imagine you saved someone who should of died leading to thousands of people being killed because you changed something that shouldn’t of been changed”   
“what are you talking about?” Cullen grit out  
“okay let me try again, so um I know of the events that will happen and the choices that can be made, I know of the outcomes of those choices but I can only tell you of the choices. You need to make them for yourselves. I can advise you of the choices when they occur but I cannot interfere. Hence the need to know and when to know basis”   
“You say you cannot interfere are you not doing that if you tell us of the choices that need to be made?” Josie asked  
“Not if I’m sharing the choices with you. I can’t make those decisions for you, that’s what you have Hawke for and the Herald they can help shape the inquisition into the force you want. I will explain all I can to you I promise all I ask is that you don’t force me to give you the information before its time. I don’t want innocent people to die because of me”  
“There will be an issue that will need to be addressed as it seems the walls have ears and people have already heard of the inquisition seer, if your information proves to be reliable then we need to know you can protect yourself” Leliana stated  
“Wait, what do you mean protect myself? Like how would I need to do that?” I blanched  
“You know how to wield weapons do you not?” Leliana asked surprised.


	5. Chapter 5

“Um no, no I don’t I can’t fight I wouldn’t even know how to” I looked down at the floor ‘fuck this is bad if they think I need to protect myself what do I do’ I thought I think they must of noticed the visible nerves and panic written all over my face. “Leave that to me we shall put a plan into motion Leliana nodded. “for now is there any information you can give us on this herald?” She continued  
“Um okay has the conclave happened yet?” I asked looking to everyone  
“No that is to be this afternoon” Leliana answered  
“Crap, shit um so its bad very bad there will be an explosion everyone at the conclave” I didn’t get to finish my sentence as the explosion happened literally seconds after I said the word.  
“What’s going on?” Cullen shouted  
“There is a breach in the sky people need medical attention, I need to help people please?” I pleaded  
“You what?” Cullen seethed  
“COMMANDER now is not the time go get the soldiers we need to see what we are up against; Lady Carpenter go do what you can, assist the healers anyway you can Sister Nightingale will lead you there”. I nodded my thanks and left the room.  
The healers had no idea what to do they looked terrified and stood watching the chaos, I shouted to them to get their attention. “look I know this is bad but we need to get this under control, there will be many injured and we need all the help we can get.” I put on my authoritive work voice on, I could see they didn’t know what to and we had to act fast so I took over and issued orders. I completely forgot that Leliana was stood watching me with a smirk. I shouted over to a couple of the guards to get as many blankets as possible I stopped everyone I could and gave them lists of things that we needed including clean water clean bandages a mage who had an infinity to fire and heat which led Hawke to remaining in the infirmary as he was the only mage on hand that had the acquired skills I needed. Poultices and healing herbs were making there way in to the clinic beds were set up and the first few patients were brought in. I hadn’t heard Josie came to see if help was needed I hadn’t noticed that Leliana had left. “She’s very talented and very calm” Josie sighed Hawke watched in awe “that she is, It is unbelievable how she can remain calm and keep everyone working like they are, she really does have a talent”  
Cullen barged into the infirmary sometime later, time was lost on me I had no idea of anything anymore. “You know what is happening?” He seethed grabbing my arm  
“Ow yes I do I was trying to explain, where Is Leliana or Cassandra I can explain to them” I replied  
“You will explain to me they are interrogating the prisoner, you knew what would happen and you knew about her” Cullen continued angrily as he pulled me away from my patients. “Commander is there a problem as you can see Miss Carpenter is busy and you are getting in the way!” Hawke didn’t seem impressed  
“I’m sorry inquisitor for I did not see you here” Cullen shrank back  
“The prisoner is not to blame; she is the only one that can help sort this Shit storm out. You may not like me Cullen but you may want to listen people’s lives depend on how you act now. If she dies, Thedas dies, we all die. You may not fully understand the severity of the situation yet but you will and I hope you see it before it’s too late”. I walked away before he could ask any more questions, ‘Emy you idiot you just stuck your foot in it,’ I was berating myself for giving out too much information “Emy do you have a moment?” Hawke asked whilst I was in the middle of cleaning a bed ready for another patient “um not really but go on?” I began apprehensively.  
“Just one question how bad will this get?” He asked as if he was afraid of the answer  
“Honestly its bad. You can win this though. I know of the events of Kirkwall and you are a hero to many there and here, if it helps you can bolster their resolve. It may seem like things are bad at the moment, nut things will get better and I believe in you if that’s any help to you” I smiled genuinely  
“I… thank you I appreciate your faith in me and I appreciate your honesty” he smiled back “ now what else do you need help with” I looked at him and gave him a huge grin and he gave a toothy grin back.

6 days later the influx of patients had begun to wane many had died, many were seriously injured, I could only ease some of their suffering by killing them. It was hard going it was so different to a well-equipped emergency department that could help many of these people. Although I had the knowledge I didn’t have the necessary equipment to save them so I asked for sleeping potions that way they could die in peace. It devastated me killing so many people. I had given everyone their shifts so they could go and rest, but I remained in the infirmary I couldn’t leave these patients they were vulnerable and scared and they needed to see someone who could take charge of the situation and show that they knew what they were doing even if I didn’t. As evening fell the infirmary was still full but all patients were stable and I took a breather.  
The healer that took care of me came in her name was Talos she was older than me and was no nonsense healer I liked her from minute one. She told me to leave and that she would take the night shift and I was not to come back until evening tomorrow, I tried to stop her and say I was fine but she was having none of it “there are guards outside should I need help they will come and get you. Now you have not had any rest for 6 days either you leave to rest or I make you leave and you will be put to sleep it is your choice” she smirked raising an eyebrow at me it was as if she was daring me to make the wrong choice. “Fine you win Talos I shall be back tomorrow” I replied dejected I knew I would not win against her  
“Good now Inquisitor she is all yours” my eyes flew to the door I stoop with my mouth agape not quite sure what was going on “she is not to step foot in here till after evening meal tomorrow understood?”  
“Agreed Talos and thank you I’m unsure she would have left here without your help” Hawke put his hand on her shoulder and thanked her “um what’s going on?” I asked not sure I wanted to know the answer  
“Come with me Lady Carpenter”  
“Please just call me Emy or Emilia I don’t like titles and would prefer that you use my name”  
“So be it Emy, now I’m taking you to the Tavern to get some food and then will take you to get some sleep”  
“Thank you but I’m unsure the tavern has anything I can eat”  
“the Tavern has all the hot meals; they are an acquired taste but with some ale you won’t notice with time”  
“It’s not that, I have never eaten animals so I’m unsure that Flissa will have anything I can eat,”  
“Well that’s unnerving. I never told you the tavern women’s name. I’m sure she will have something you can eat.” He smiled as he continued to walk me to the tavern. It took a while but Flissa was able to whip up a potato and veg stew with some stale bread. I didn’t mind so much as I forgot how hungry I was. Hawke motioned Varric over to our table and introduced me to him I didn’t need introductions Hawke smiled at Varric after I had managed to freak him out “hello Varric, how are you settling in after your kidnap?” I smiled knowing full what I was doing, I noticed a smirk from Hawke out of the corner of my eye. “How’s Bianca doing after the skirmish at the rifts? I know of some nice upgrades for her if you’re interested?” I mentioned “What sort of upgrades are we talking, my Bianca only gets the best” he replied grinning, we sat talking for a while when I must of dozed off “Hawke better get oracle here to bed think she maybe falling asleep on us” Varric sniggered Hawke hoisted me up bridal style and we left the Tavern although I was too out of it to notice what was happening. “night Varric” “Night Hawke, night oracle” he smiled and continued drinking his drink. I awoke quite late that morning unsure of where I was I could hear talking outside the cabin door. 


	6. Chapter 6

“I agree Inquisitor I do not believe her to be a spy, I believe she wants to help so many people would be dead if it wasn’t for her. Are you sure about this though?” A woman’s voice  
“I am Sister Nightingale I believe this to be the best course of action” he replied  
“As you wish I will send a raven”  
“Thank you I shall take my leave be well”  
“And you Inquisitor” Hawke opened the cabin door and smiled as I looked around still unsure of where I was. “Where am I?” I asked  
“My cabin, well our cabin, unfortunately there was nowhere else you could stay, I was going to tell you last night but you fell asleep shortly after eating therefore I brought you back here to let you sleep”   
“Oh “I blushed “okay thank you but are you sure? You only have one bed and I’m hoping I didn’t kick you out of it”  
“I slept on the floor, which I was happy to do before you say anything, another bed is being procured today so no one will be sleeping on the floor so that look of guilt can leave your face now” he smirked “ I know I can’t argue with you, so I won’t attempt to try thank you, but if I overstay my welcome please tell me”  
“Well that was easier than I expected that to be “he raised his eyebrow at me  
“Not really I just know you well enough to know that there is no point arguing with you. Although I don’t understand why you wanted me to share your cabin?”  
“Oh, it’s simple it’s to show that your under my protection and that no harm shall come to you whilst your under my protection”  
“Huh um okay I think”  
“Leliana believed it to be the best course of action. She was impressed the way you handled the clinic in the midst of chaos too.  
“Really? I mean it’s nothing I’m used to working in a chaotic place so for me it was the normal”  
“Yes, you did seem comfortable, we did take notice of it. Talos was very impressed and she does not impress easily, in any case she wants you to help her run the clinic, she also asked that you explain some of the strange practices that we saw.”  
“Oh, that’s easy I can show her and teach everyone basic emergency first aid for the field. I know of ways to bring infection rates down significantly and I can help train more medics so that workload is easier” I was excited that I could teach practices I’ve known for years to others.  
“Funny” Hawke mused  
“What’s funny”   
“Leliana said much the same this morning and explained that Talos is on happy with any changes that could help.”  
Later that day I walked to the what I had dubbed the infirmary it was a fairly large cabin and a large tent as overflow facing opposite, there were beds and blankets everywhere but thankfully many beds were now empty. ’breathe Emy breathe’ I sighed to myself its just like a normal day at work. I was just about to greet Talos when a scout came running up to me “Lady carpenter you have been requested for a meeting in the war room as soon as possible” he said   
“Um okay I’m sorry Talos I will be back as soon as I can”  
“Not to worry Emy I still have things I need to do so I will be here for a while yet” she smiled I gave her a genuine smile back she was one of the only ones to call me by my preferred name which made me feel more at ease. As I walked up to the Chantry it hit me how much of Haven actually looked like the game but in other ways looked completely different. It was much larger in scale then the game had made out and it was also far colder. I shivered as I walked through the chantry up to the war room ‘note to self-ask Josie about acquiring some clothes that fit and maybe a cloak to keep warm.’ I couldn’t complain too much the clothes I was given fit me okay slightly on the bigger side but didn’t feel like they kept me warm. I knocked as loudly as I could. “enter” a man’s voice on the other side called out. 

I walked into the war room and noticed everyone stood around talking with a brunette woman I hadn’t met I assumed she must be the herald “um hello you called for me?” I stated more than asked  
“ hello I’m Alyssa Trevelyan you must be the inquisition’s oracle, I’ve heard pieces of information about you” she smiled genuinely at me “ hello I’m Emy or Emilia Carpenter which ever you prefer I will answer too” I hated this oracle business I hate titles and prefer not to use them. ”it seems word of your abilities is spreading faster than we thought it would. Many people want to know of your origins, many are mad that although you claim to know future events you did not stop the conclave, I am assigning two guards to you at all times and you cannot be allowed to leave the gates of Haven” Cullen stated  
“Wait what? So, I’m a prisoner even though I said I would help you?”   
“Please see reason Lady Carpenter, you stated yourself you don’t know how to protect yourself. If your abilities are as we hope they are to be you are in danger whether you share a cabin with the inquisitor or not. How to you hope to protect yourself from someone with a sword?” Cullen stated matter of factly   
“I um I don’t know” I whispered dejectedly  
“The Commander is just trying to protect you Emy. We are unsure of how news of you will be taken. There maybe people who want to harm you and we cannot let that happen. I know it’s not what you want” I opened my mouth to interrupt “your facial expressions tell us you’re not happy ” Hawke explained pointing to my face I shut my mouth quickly “now I know this solution is not ideal, but for now I ask that you agree to this solution please?” He asked   
“Fine, still doesn’t mean I have to be happy with it” I grumped  
“Ha I would be amazed if you were” he laughed which just made me more miserable  
“Did you want me for anything else?” I asked wanting to change the subject  
“In actual fact we did, we called you here to see if you could explain as much as you can about the issues arising in the Hinterlands we are leaving tomorrow and shall be away for the next month so preferably would like to know as much as we can before we leave” I nodded at Hawke as he said this  
The next hour seemed to pass in a blur I had explained all about the mage and Templar conflicts, that many of the refugees at the crossroads needed help, I had explained that the situation was bad and that there were many deaths. I had also proceeded to tell them where they needed to go and who they could gain as agents. I left out the information about Redcliffe castle as it was not time for them to know the information yet. I explained everything I felt I could remember and where they could meet Master Dennet for horses, I explained that I had given all the information I possibly could at this time and that anymore information they wanted would have to wait until they had built up a reputation, which in effect wasn’t actually a lie.  
I had spent quite a few hours in the war room going over all the details with the advisors, I felt exhausted. The past week had been harder on me then I thought it would be ‘brace yourself Emy its going to be a long shift’ I thought. I really couldn’t be bothered with working the night shift I was beyond tired. As I walked out of the Chantry and towards the infirmary I could feel the exhaustion taking over me. “Miss Carpenter? Could I have a word?” A voice from behind me came I turned around to see Solas looking at me “what can I do for you Solas?” This wasn’t going to go well I could feel my head starting to pound “ah so what they say is true you do know of us, this is what I wanted to talk to you about, I wanted to know of how you know of future events if you could please explain to me?” He asked looking at me curiously   
“Um I’m not sure…” I didn’t finish my sentence I felt a wave of nausea and dizziness hit me like a freight train “Miss Carpenter are you well?” Solas looked at me taking a step towards me I looked at him about to open my mouth to speak when my knees buckled and I hit the deck. Solas had caught me as I blacked out


	7. Chapter 7

“Solas what happened?” Hawke came running up to us and picked me up.  
“I am unsure inquisitor I think she may have exhausted herself and not let herself heal properly; she has no new injuries that I am aware of but her head injury needs more time to heal. She didn’t give herself time to heal and rest and now her body has given in” he surmised   
“Okay I will take her home and let her rest, can you ask Adan to bring a sleeping Draught and a healing draught in case it is needed please” Hawke asked and Solas nodded leaving for Adan’s cabin he looked around to find a scout running towards him “ you there I need help can you come and unlock the door to our cabin so I can get her inside please, then can you get The Herald and The Commander “ the scout nodded and walked with Hawke whilst he carried me back to our cabin. Hawke had decided that they would postpone their trip to the Hinterlands by a few days. Hawke explained he didn’t want to leave me alone whist being unconscious. In the end they decided that he would stay behind whilst The Herald took care of things in the Hinterlands.  
A few hours later “mmmnnn” I groaned I tried to open my eyes and concentrate on trying to see straight “Emy? Careful you collapsed”  
“Can you help me sit up please I think I’m going to hurl” I was feeling very sick  
“What is hurl?, here let me help you” Hawke sat me up that I was leaning on him to keep me upright he was rubbing small circles on my back trying to ease how crappy I was feeling. “It means to be sick. I’m sorry I should know that some things I say may seem strange to you. I’m even more sorry you are here looking after me, you know you don’t have too.” I tried to take deep breaths  
“I know I don’t, but I’m not going to leave you when you need help. Emy you should have remembered you are injured instead you were too busy helping everyone but yourself. You are on bed rest for at least a few days, Talos has agreed she has asked that you help her only with the roster system but you are not allowed to leave this cabin I’m having a table set up in here so that I can stay here with you as I have a feeling you will not listen to the healers” he smirked at me as I looked up at him horrified “I do not need a babysitter” I groaned  
“That remains to be seen little bird, I think maybe you do” I gave him a mock glare and he laughed at me “come now rest for a while, I will have some food brought here soon and don’t worry it will be animal free.” He smiled at me and helped me to lie back down on the bed to get some rest.  
“Emy hey wake up Emy?”  
“Mmmm?” I moaned  
“Hey little bird wake up you need to eat something”  
“How long have I been asleep” I looked around noticing it had gotten dark  
“All afternoon and well into the evening, I let you sleep for as long as possible but I think you need to eat before going back to sleep”  
“I’m sorry Hawke you shouldn’t be looking after me, you have a long trip to prepare for” my brain wasn’t working and I had completely forgotten our earlier conversation   
“I’m not going, remember our little chat earlier? Aly is going with Cassandra, Varric and Solas.  
I nodded “Hawke can I ask you something?”  
“You can use my name if you want, you said you don’t like titles and you call everyone by their names so you can use mine, what did you want to ask?” He looked at me as he sat down on the end of the bed.  
“Can I ask why did you decide to stay and look after me? I don’t want you to have to stop important tasks because I’m an idiot and can’t take care of myself”  
“I’m happy to stay here, by the information you gave us about what is going on it sounds like I am not quite needed just yet, and it gives people time to get used to what Aly can do. People need to see the good in her and that she wants to help. We need people to see that the inquisition is a force of good and that people do not need to be afraid of us”.  
“thank you Garrett for everything you have done for me”. I smiled at him as he passed me some food.  
The month passed quickly and The Herald and team had made it back in one piece, they were not happy with all that they had seen but had at least managed to stabilise what they could at the Hinterlands Aly had said they had closed quite a few rifts but there were some they needed soldiers for as the demons were quite strong. She also explained that they had managed to fulfil many tasks that were asked of them and had asked Cullen to get watchtowers built. I had been called to the war room to go over details for their trip to Val Royeaux and wanted to make sure I had not forgotten any details that they may have needed. I had re gone over everything I had told them in the beginning and made sure not to leave anything out at least I think I did. Playing games and living real life its getting difficult to remember details and trying not to get people killed around me.


	8. Chapter 8

Garrett and Aly’s team left the next morning at dawn. They would be gone a total of 2 months to which I was told I wasn’t allowed to work myself crazy. Garrett had told me he had made sure that Talos would not let me work too much to which I was not impressed with. It also made me smile that he cared enough to look after me the way he did. The two months that had passed without them in Haven had passed without incidence that I had asked that I didn’t have guards following my every move. It was beginning to piss me off that on many occasions I decided to try and lose them.  
One evening after a quiet shift I decided to go and sit by the lake. I sat there for what I think must have been hours, everything hit me at once I began crying I missed Iris very much, as I sat there the grief of everything that had happened finally hit me so I sat there for hours crying, once I had started I couldn’t seem to stop. “Lady Carpenter?” I jumped and turned around “the Guards keep telling me you keep you keep trying to get away from them and this will not do they are there to protect you”  
“im sorry Cullen” I wiped away my tears in hope he didn’t notice  
“are you okay I’ve been told you have been here quite a long time?” he asked apparently I didn’t do a good enough job trying to hide my grief. “im sorry I must of lost track of time. I guess that since I arrived here I haven’t had time to process that my life before has gone, that I will never see Iris again or my friends. I suppose I never realised until today that I will never get to go home and it made me sad” we had sat there for a while talking, it appeared that we were finally finding some common ground when all of a sudden, arrows came flying at us. Cullen threw himself over me but a sharp pain erupted in my leg and I screamed in pain. Everything began to spin I could vaguely hear Cullen trying to speak to me but I couldn’t make out his words I had the sudden urge to throw up and he must have realised this as I quickly turned me to my side.  
I must of blacked out because I awoke sometime later confused, the room was still spinning and my leg was in complete agony. I wasn’t sure where I was but I must of thought I needed to make sure Cullen was okay because I got up from the cot I was laying on “Miss Carpenter you must rest” a deep voice shouted out although I was ignoring it. I stood up and the room began swimming my knees buckled but someone caught me “Cullen? You’re okay?” I asked squinting at him I wave of nausea hit me and I moved to my side and vomited all over the floor but unfortunately Cullen didn’t move his feet out the way and I vomited all over his boots. “that is fantastic” he grit out “Emilia Carpenter LIE BACK DOWN AND DO AS YOU ARE TOLD” he shouted at me, I was gobsmacked we were fine when we spoke earlier, now he was being so cold to me I knew I was out of it but I couldn’t understand the change in his behaviour “Commander can you help her drink this please it will help with the sickness and make her rest”  
“as you wish Adan” he took the bottle and sat down on the cot to help me drink it but I didn’t want to drink it “must you persist on being so difficult, either you drink it or I will make you drink it” Cullen sounded angry.  
“no go away” I pushed the draught away  
“Miss Carpenter stop acting like a child and take the damn bottle” I pushed myself away Cullen was getting angrier and angrier and it made me more uncomfortable “Commander may I try? I think you maybe making her very uncomfortable and shouting at her isn’t going to help, she has no idea what is going on so you getting angry is not helping” Garrett had come in to the clinic to see how I was, I was unaware of what was happening and all the voices were making me more nervous and afraid. He shooed Cullen out of the way so he could sit with me “its okay Commander I will stay with her, thank you for looking after her now go and get seen by the healer you have a nasty gash on your head” Garrett stated  
“yes, inquisitor I will take my leave” he bowed his head slightly and left.  
“Emy?” Garrett whispered he began stroking my face trying to get my attention “hey Emy its Garrett, you have been hurt and I need you to drink this drink to help the pain go away”  
“Garrett? I don’t like it here can we go home?” I looked at him, he looked over to Adan, gave me the bottle and went to pick me up “yeah Emy lets go home, drink this for me and we shall go”  
“okay thank you” he helped me tip the drink back then picked me up and we left Adan’s clinic I began to fall asleep in his arms when I heard a voice I thought I recognised  
“is this wise Hawke? She needs medical attention, you said magic does not affect her so are you sure she will be okay not being with the healers?”  
“one thing I have noticed with Emy is she is a bloody good healer, but she is an awful patient. If she stays where she is not comfortable she will not stay there and she will hurt herself more. She has been poisoned and she is confused, keeping her there will make things worse for her. Fenris I cannot leave her where she will be scared and uncomfortable at least I can keep watch of her in our cabin where she asked to be”.  
“Hawke you can rest if anything changes I will wake you but is this not why you brought me along so I can protect her. You can’t be an inquisitor to these people and protect this girl all the time, I can see why you like this girl she is just as stubborn as you” Fenris smirked as he watched Hawke’s face drop “its obvious you care a great deal about her, remember I’ve known you a very long time and you were never like this when you were with that pirate”.  
“I don’t know what it is about her Fenris, I do care for her, I find that I want to protect her, she is caring and genuine, she is different, I don’t know why but her view on life. there is an innocence in her and I want to protect that for her”.  
“I understand, I will help keep her safe for you. I think you need to talk to her though. You like her and with what I saw I think she cares for you too. You calmed her when she was in a state of unease and couldn’t recognise anything or anyone around her. So, I think you may want to speak to each other”.  
I awoke the next morning in my own bed. Unsure of how I had got there and only the two guards that were still assigned to me as company. There was a loud knock in the door to which one of the guards had opened the door. “Lady Emilia i have come to check on your wound and see how you are feeling" she explained “Adan and Talos believed it be better if stayed in your own cabin for the duration of your recovery. You do not heal well with magic therefore you injuries take longer to heal. I have been advised to explain to you that you have been put on bed rest for the next week. The guards are to let the commander know if this is an issue at any time. My lady he was extremely unhappy last night when you would not accept his help and has stated that if this is to be an issue he will come and find a way to solve this immediately. I do not think you want that course of action" I glared at her although it wasn’t her I was mad at she just happened to get the brunt of my ire “ tell him in these words that he is a horse’s arse and if he has issues take them up with someone who gives a shit i will not be ordered around by him”. I noticed the horror on the guards faces i think they thought I would be an easier patient.


	9. Chapter 9

Four days it took me to lose my cool four days i was cursing like a motherfucker I was beyond angry. Garrett had tried to calm me down on few occasions which didn’t work in the end he left the cabin to give us both time to cool down.   
“Hi Garrett, I sat on the bed with my back facing the opposite direction to the door" I said without looking up at him   
“how did you know it was me? “he asked   
“ you have a slight shuffle as you walk and I can smell your body wash you smell musky with a hint of something I don’t recognise “ I replied “ not that I smell you, Christ stupid brain mouth engaging before my brain I should of said we live together" I quickly blurted and went very red in the face he laughed at me “ mind if I join you?” he asked   
“Carry on"   
“I’ve noticed you sit here a lot something on your mind? Want to go for a walk and talk to me?” He handed me what looked like crutches he said I couldn’t have long out walking around as I needed to rest but that he would walk with me for a little while. We walked down to the spot by the lake where I had received my injury although I didn’t think about that. For me the space was somewhere I could sit and think. Somewhere I could try and forget my new reality  
“Honestly I miss home, I miss my sister, I miss my life before here. I know it sounds selfish seems as many people have lost so much. I just am coming to terms that my life there has gone. That I will never get home or see my loved ones ever again”.  
“Why wouldn’t you be able to go home? I mean when the war is over there is no stopping you".  
“I cant. My home is gone. Even if I found a way back. I’ve been away too long I’m not quite sure I know how to live that life anymore. My sister probably thinks I’ve died I wouldn’t want to reopen old wounds; she needs to heal now and me showing up out of the blue will make things worse. Shit will hit the fan and I’m not ready for that".  
“you have some strange phrases fan? Out of the blue? “  
“Oh, sorry shit hitting the fan means drama kicking off and out of the blue means out of nowhere. They are quite common phrases where I come from".  
“Thank you Garrett that means a lot to me".  
“I like that you use my name, not many others do” he stumbled his words a little “ what I mean to say is that not always being called by a title or a nickname is refreshing". He smiled  
“Emy are you happy here? What I mean to say is do you want to be here or go home? I can help you go home if you decide that’s what you want". He replied in earnest   
“I can’t go home Garrett my home no longer exists at least not here. My friends my sister my life its gone and although I want to go back i can’t. I have to move on with my life"  
“What do you mean your home no longer exists? Was it war?”  
“Leliana didn’t tell you the whole truth about me, she was concerned that I would be dead by now had the whole truth about me got out. Um so I don’t come from Thedas im from a very long way away, I honestly do not know how far away it is from here all I know is there is no way home for me”.  
“I’m not sure I understand”  
“Okay so I think the fade connects many places together. I think something happened where I came from and I got trapped in the fade and brought here. It’s the only explanation I have. I think that the fade is vaster than any of us realise and that even Solas who claims to be an expert has only touched the surface".  
“okay"  
“okay?”   
“I think you are correct in what you say about the fade, whilst I’m unsure on where you come from I do believe that the fade is more complex than we know and your idea is not completely impossible. If you want to get home I can try and help find a way for you to get home, but I can make no promises"  
“Garrett I appreciate everything you have done for me but this is my home now, yes I miss my old life but this is my new life and I need to learn to live with it”. A scout called Garrett to one side “give me a moment Emy I will be back”. I just nodded okay whilst he walked off down the path whilst I looked back over the lake to reminisce about my old life  
“what in Andraste’s name do you think you are doing?” an angry voice came from behind me.


	10. Chapter 10

“fuck here we go” I sighed to myself   
“do you have such little regard for your life and the lives of others around you?” he seethed  
“what are you talking about?” suddenly he picked me up “Cullen what the hell are you doing put me down now!” I screamed  
“You will start to do as your told. I have never met someone as selfish as you” he continued as he put me over his shoulder to walk me somewhere  
“PUT ME DOWN NOW” I squirmed enough out of his grip he dropped me “oof what the hell is your issue, what did I do to deserve your hate, you and the advisors tell me im not a prisoner but yet you treat me as one. If that is the case then you may aswell lock me in the dungeons now and throw the fucking key away.” I all but screamed at him  
“Do not tempt my Lady Carpenter if it is the only way to get you to do as your told then so be it. You will learn to do as you are told!”  
“I am not a child Cullen I have free will and you must learn to accept that, also I was given the permission to come and sit by the lake by Talos and Adan so back off!”  
“you lie they put you on strict bed rest” he went to grab me again  
“NO!” all of a sudden he was thrown back from me I looked in horror and shock I started panicking “YOU you’re a mage!!” Cullen shouted in such a disgusting manner as soon as he was able to right himself “You lied to us, you told us you had no magic what else did you lie about!”  
“I didn’t I swear I don’t know what just happened, I didn’t lie, I’ve told you the truth” I was crying and shaking now I was terrified as I watched Cullen everything slowed down its like time itself had stopped. He was beginning to perform a chant, I closed my eyes ready to brace for whatever he was about to do to me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Exhaustion was taking over, fear and the pain in my leg was overtaking all my senses. “Commander Rutherford what do you think you are doing?” Garrett was so angry I wasn’t paying attention but the look on Garrett’s face looked like pure murder, he stood in front of me protectively. “you will not lay a finger on her do you understand?”  
“She is a mage, she lied to us, if she lied to us about this she will have lied about everything else. She is not to be trusted”   
“Commander she has not lied, I have seen in for myself she speaks the truth. Look at her and tell me what you see? Take a breath and really look at her”  
“I don’t see what this”  
“do as I ask Commander and look” Garrett interrupted it took a few minutes for Cullen to really look at me.  
“I see fear”  
“yes, Commander are you honestly telling me that she is lying to you, she looks terrified, you will not go near her again without someone present do you understand?”  
“I… yes Inquisitor forgive me but I have a concern she is a mage who does not know how to control her magic she is a danger to everyone around her” he argued  
“I will teach her, I will not be going with Aly all the time, only when I am needed so I have the time to teach her, you will remove her guards from this duty and find them something else to do”  
“Makers breath you cannot be serious?”  
“I am Commander I have an alternative idea; I have already sorted this with Sister Nightingale and she fully approves”  
“fine I shall take my leave, if she becomes an abomination it is on your head. Andraste preserve us all” with that he left Garrett came over to sit in front of me I tried to make my self as small as possible and huddle into a ball  
“im sorry im sorry I didn’t mean to please don’t hurt me im sorry” I kept repeating over and over again.  
“Emilia look at me,” he put his hand softly under my chin and guided my face up to meet his “I promise you, I will never hurt you.”  
“but,…. But I hurt Cullen, I could hurt others” I was crying   
“Emy here let me help you home this is not a place to talk about this I promise you that I will help you and you won’t hurt anyone, we will figure this out, but for now lets get back and we can talk there”. I nodded and he helped to pick me up “come on little bird lets go home” he carried me back to our cabin, I was still shaken but he made me feel safe. He walked us home and sat me gently on the bed. “are you ready to talk to me?” he asked I nodded.  
“I don’t know what I did to Cullen im really sorry I didn’t mean to hurt anyone” I blurted out.  
“hey hey its okay don’t worry about it, it was an accident. The Commander just has a pole up his ass and always has” he smirked and I laughed “its good to see you laughing again” he smiled   
“Thank you Garrett you’re always saving me and protecting me, I don’t know how I can ever repay that” I looked back down to my hands.  
“im always here if you need me” he hugged me and I hugged him back I looked up to him and smiled. “now about your magic” he started we sat there talkin gin length about how he would help me learn. “there is something else too, I know you have been very unhappy with the guards so I found an alternative idea there is someone I would like you to meet later today?” the while time we talked we sat there curled up in each other’s arms and I was feeling very sleepy “okay” I agreed sleepily  
“get some sleep little bird im not going anywhere” he hugged me tighter and kissed me on the forehead as I fell asleep in his arms.


	11. Chapter 11

I awoke sometime later to hear the soft sound of snores Garrett and I had fell asleep in each other’s arms “Garrett” I whispered “Garrett we fell asleep it’s the evening wake up”  
“I don’t want too im comfortable” he murmured and pulled me closer to him   
“Garrett I don’t make a very good pillow time to wake up” I joked I moved my head up to see his sleeping face and started to stroke his face “mmm that’s nice” he smiled and opened his eyes slowly as I pulled my hand away.  
“hello” I breathed  
“hello” he repeated “I must have been very comfortable to fall asleep” he smiled as he pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear, are you hungry? Feel like a walk to the Tavern I mean your little trip out earlier didn’t go to plan so thought we could extend it a bit”  
“yes please” I grinned as we sat up he got off the bed and stood up offered his hand to help me up unfortunately as I stood my leg had decided it didn’t want to work and I fell straight into Garrett “Im sorry it seems I won’t be going anywhere” I sighed sadly   
“it’s okay I can go and ask for food to be brought to us” then all of a sudden he started smirking “actually I have an idea” he turned around and bent down “get on” he smiled “Garrett are you sure?” I looked wary   
“come get on my back and I we shall go to Tavern, I think we could both do with some food and a drink, Varric mentioned stories and card games if your interested?   
“Okay sounds like fun” I got onto his back and he carried me to the Tavern he was telling really bad jokes to which I couldn’t stop laughing at, we must of looked a right sight as we reached the Tavern as people were staring, Varric and Aly had the biggest smirks on their faces whispering to each other and looking back at us.  
After a few hours of chatting and playing games Talos had come up to us unimpressed that Garrett had brought me out although once she had seen I was finally smiling and laughing she had said to him that I was not to walk back and he agreed he would carry me home and look after me all night if he had too. She left shortly after smiling at how happy he seemed to be that she allowed me to remain out. The night passed quickly all I remember is drinking too much and Garrett dropping me on the floor to which he apologised but we couldn’t stop laughing it had been a really fun night. I had awoken in the morning to a heavy weight next to me and an arm wrapped around my waist my head and leg were not thanking me today but I still couldn’t stop smiling. Garrett woke up minutes after me “good morning little bird” he breathed into my ear as he moved closer to me “did you have fun last night?”  
“I did I haven’t had fun like that in a very long time thank you” I rolled over to face him “although my leg does not thank you for dropping me” I laughed  
“im sorry I was a little inebriated” he looked sheepish and I laughed  
“ it was fun even though my body hates me today I still would have gone with you” I smiled, he smiled back and kissed my forehead before pulling me to him, “lets go back to sleep for a while”   
“mmmnnn good idea” I agreed smiling and closed my eyes cuddling into Garrett as I felt sleep take hold of me. Nest time I woke up Garrett had moved and I was in the bed alone. I looked around to find that he was talking to someone outside the cabin and that he had his hands full he closed the door with his foot and turned around smiling “hey your awake, I got some food for us and I got you a pain draught. I am so sorry I dropped you”  
“Garrett its fine honestly, I don’t care I would of probably ended up on the floor anyway even if I could walk. I had fun and that’s because of you. I actually feel like I have made friends and that im building a life here and that is because of you, so thank you for that thank you for everything you have done” I smiled up at him as he passed me the medication and the food. “I didn’t ask how bad Val Royeaux was and how you are doing?” I asked as he sat down next to me  
“it was a shit show like you said, the Templars have gone completely insane. Cassandra had to hold Aly back from punching the Lord Seeker in front of everyone.”  
“im sorry I wish it wasn’t as bad as that and that you didn’t have to deal with all of that”  
“im glad we have you, if we didn’t then it would be worse walking into the unknown and be surprised. We had time to understand what would happen. Im glad you are here it makes this easier for me having you here” Garrett didn’t get to finish what he said as a knock on the door meant it was time for our war room meeting.


	12. Chapter 12

They had decided to move the meeting to our cabin due to me not being able to walk very far so Garrett set up a silencing spell that no one could hear what we were talking about. Garrett then started explaining that everything I had said had happened he seemed to make a point to Cullen that I wasn’t lying. “Grand Enchanter Fiona has asked for a meeting with us at Redcliffe Castle can you tell us about this Emy?” Garrett looked at me.  
“Um okay so what im about to tell you it’s not good news im afraid. So, as you could tell from Cassandra’s mood things at Val Royeaux did not go very well. And well its about to get worse,” I looked to Garrett and then to Aly “so you know how the Grand Enchanter asked for a meeting with you? Well she doesn’t know about it when you get there. Something happened im not quite sure exactly when but a Tevinter magister fucked with time”  
“What do you mean with time?” Josie asked I noticed she left out the curse words  
“Honestly I don’t know, he managed to create a spell that got him to Redcliffe Castle at the right moment. Fiona handed him the control of all the Southern Mages”  
“What” Cullen exclaimed at no one in particular so I ignored him and carried on.  
“Any way when you arrive Redcliffe Castle the gates will be closed there will be a rift that you need to close but its different to the ones you have already closed. If you look carefully around the area parts will speed up and others will slow down use them to your advantage.   
A scout will tell you that the inquisition was not to be expected and Fiona will have no clue what you are talking about. She will tell you that she has indentured all of the mages she is looking after to a magister called Alexius. Do not trust him. I can’t tell you more about him just yet, I will tell you when you get back from there. He has a son called Felix who you can trust he is dying from the blight I know of a cure for him but Im unsure how to get the ingredients or who to contact about them just yet. You will meet a mage called Dorian you can trust him too he is in a word flamboyant but he is trustworthy and will be a great asset to the inquisition.   
Now for the easier bits I can tell you, Leliana will ask you to see about a lone warden in the Hinterlands by the name of Blackwall you can find this man by the lake. There will be a soldier waiting outside the doors of the Chantry, he is here to talk to you about joining up his boss is The Iron Bull and the soldier goes by the name of Cremisus Aclassi he is part of a group called the Chargers and he is Iron bull’s second in command they are again assets to the inquisition, but to make you aware Iron Bull is a Ben Hassrath spy although him and Leliana come to an agreement about what reports can be sent to the Qun. Crem will say about a meeting point at the Storm Coast. Um I think that is everything im sorry if I have forgotten anything”  
“its more than enough Emy, although the news is not good we appreciate all you have told us and can make a plan” Leliana smiled gratefully I had noted it was the first time she had used my name which I appreciated and I nodded at her  
“okay we shall leave in two days have our newest arrivals briefed on the situation they don’t need all the details but enough for them to know what is going on”  
“I would suggest that Sera does not go with you magic freaks her out. It doesn’t matter who else goes with you to be fair who you take will not change the outcome” I explained  
“okay then we shall head to The Hinterlands meet with Blackwall and continue to Redcliffe Castle, I will then send a missive when we are on our way to The Storm Coast if everyone is agreed?” Garrett asked and everyone nodded in agreement “there is just one more thing, Emy has felt like a prisoner since she has been here and I won’t have her feeling like that anymore,”  
“But Inquisitor?” Cullen objected  
“Let me finish Commander, I understand your precaution and that you want to keep her safe but treating her like a prisoner will just push her into more danger. Now I have spoken to Leliana and she has agreed with a course of action. Emy will be free to do what she likes as we all are, on one condition she will have a bodyguard with her it is someone I trust with my life” Leliana walked to the door to open it as I looked at who was there “Fenris?” I asked Garrett  
“that is never going to get easier” he grimaced  
“sorry”  
“not to worry he smiled as he walked over to me. I trust Fenris with my life he will protect you, but you have to promise not to try and chase him off or lose him” before I had a chance to reply Fenris laughed “Hawke you have nothing to worry about, I doubt Emilia will lose me and no matter how angry she gets she will not be able to push me away” I was unsure how I felt about that as he smirked at me. I opened my mouth for a retort but suddenly closed it again when I realised I couldn’t say anything Garrett laughed as he watched my reaction.


	13. Chapter 13

“well that’s solved that there is one thing and ask for Fenris to come along to the Storm Coast as he knows the way of the Qun and I’d rather not anger anyone, whilst Fenris is with me I will ask that Leliana have someone to protect Emy in this time” she nodded I n agreement. “is there anything else that anyone needs to talk about?” Garrett asked  
“there is one more thing for Leliana” I spoke and the others realised I wanted to talk to her privately so left the cabin “your friend a scout named Butcher? He is a traitor and will kill people”  
“I know I got the news earlier” Leliana looked sad  
“im sorry I didn’t realise I was too late in telling you. Im so sorry Leliana”  
“Thank you Emy I am not happy about how these events are unfolding. I am glad to have you here. I am sorry for any mistreatment on my behalf. I didn’t believe I could trust you, in times like this trust is a commodity, I am sorry a truly am”  
“it’s okay Leliana, I understand more then you know and had our roles been reversed I probably would have been the same” I replied  
“You didn’t grow up here in Thedas, so you have this innocence about you, your optimistic and see the good in everyone, I doubt that you would have reacted the same way as me.” She smiled  
“hey Leliana? Im always here if you want a chat you know. If you need a friend I promise you that whatever you want to talk to me about will always stay between us. I know it wont be the easiest thing for you but just know that the offer is there if you ever want to take me up on it. I hope one day we can be friends” I smiled at her and she nodded “I shall take my leave Emy but know I will think on what you said” she got up to leave but before she opened the door “ that offer extends both ways Emy im here if you want to talk” with that she left. Garrett and Fenris walked back in and got to know each other better.  
We decided that we would have another night in the tavern and that it would be nice for Fenris to catch up with Garrett and Varric. “want to play wicked grace tonight? I can teach you to play?”  
“Cheating or how to play properly” I joked  
“ouch that hurt” he held his hand to his chest in mock hurt and I laughed   
“She has a point Hawke you do cheat” Fenris chipped in and I laughed more  
“well this was a mistake your both ganging up on me” he laughed “come on jump on my back and il take us there”   
“um no offence Garrett you dropped me last night, I think I will walk if you give me my crutches” I held my hand out whilst he looked at me in horror where I continued to laugh at him. “I apologised for that” he sighed  
“I know and im messing with you but im still walking” I stated although he could tell I was teasing. It was a slow walk to the tavern but it was fun, Garrett, Fenris and I were laughing and joking, we walked past the fire where Varric would hang out to see if he was there or if he was already waiting for us with a drink in hand. Turned out he was already in the tavern waiting for us I sat down at the table whilst Fenris offered to get the drinks whilst Garrett sat down quite closely next to me.  
“who’s up for a game of wicked Grace?” Varric asked  
“best teach me this game” I nudged Garrett with my elbow as I whispered   
“playing fair or cheating?” he winked at me  
“um ask me again if I lose too much” I laughed Fenris brought over the drinks but I didn’t pay attention to which one was mine so I accidently picked up Garrett’s drink. I took one sip and spat it out everywhere “what the fuck is that?”  
“it my drink little bird, try this one” Garrett said into my ear as I picked up the one that was meant for me and he started laughing at me “im so sorry guys” I went beet red to which they all found amusing Fenris had gotten me something called Honey Wine which was really nice much nicer than the mead. “much better than the shit your drinking “I teased back to Garrett and he smiled at me   
“Good to know, shall we play?” Varric chimed in  
“Yep im ready” I agreed excitedly “I’ve never played this before though” I didn’t win one round I then asked Garrett how to cheat and I still managed to lose. We continued drinking. I drank far more than I had the night before as that was all I could remember.


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up in my bed with Garrett sharing with me and Fenris asleep in Garrett’s bed. I was pleasantly surprised that I had no hangover so I decided to get up and get some fresh air, in fact I felt like I needed a bath so I left the cabin. I walked to see Varric as I knew he would be awake “hey Blackout how you feeling?”  
“on no really? Blackout?” I sighed   
“yep you cannot handle your drink” he laughed which in turn made me laugh  
“ can I ask a favour can you accompany to the bath house and wait outside till im done please? Garrett will get mad if im alone”  
“ sure thing” he agreed  
“thanks chest hair” he laughed at my nick name for him we had a a good chat as we walked to the bath house. I didn’t spend very long in there but long enough to feel clean and refreshed. We took a slow walk back to my cabin we began hearing the whispers many people saying I was a liar and that I was whoring myself out to the inquisitor or that I was planning on screwing the inquisition over.” Ignore them Blackout they just want something to talk about” Varric explained in a concerned way. Just as I was almost back at my cabin Garrett come flying out he stopped when he saw me. “crap I forgot to tell them where I was going” I smacked my head as I remembered  
“this is all you good luck think you may need it” he laughed as he waved  
“Hey Varric?” he looked back at me “thank you”  
“no worries see you later Blackout”  
“Im so sorry Garrett I wanted to go to the Bath house and you were asleep I forgot to leave a note. Varric stayed with me but I should of told you”  
“im just glad your okay” he grabbed me and hugged me”  
“im so sorry I worried you I wont do it again”  
“come let’s go find Fenris he is looking for you, what were you thanking Varric for? And Blackout?”  
“it seems its my new nickname I can’t handle my drink apparently” and I laughed as he smiled. “there are whispers about me and most of them are not very nice. Varric was trying to reassure me” I explained. We continued walking around Haven for what I believed was about thirty minutes before we ran into Fenris he gave me that look to say don’t do it again and that was then end of that. Garrett was leaving tomorrow for Redcliffe so he decided he wanted to spend most of the day with me. We met up with Varric later through the day “well if it isn’t the two pissheads” he laughed and I bowed  
“hi chest hair” Garrett looked at me with a raised eyebrow  
“So did Hawke tell you he dropped you last night?” Varric asked and Garrett looked very sheepish   
“um no he didn’t” I looked at Garrett “you dropped me? Again?”  
“wait he’s dropped you twice?” Varric burst out laughing  
“in my defence I didn’t actually drop you this time, I fell over” he sighed and I burst out laughing “I really wish I could remember you falling over” I was still laughing  
“I bet it was hilarious” Varric sniggering “although by the look of Broody here he didn’t find it amusing”  
“no, I did not the pair of them are children” Fenris groused and that set Garrett and I off again  
“it also didn’t help that you vomited all over his boots, he then had to carry you back because I was too busy lying on the floor laughing” Garrett explained and I looked horrified “oh no im so sorry Fenris I will clean them or get you new ones” I tried to hide my embarrassment  
“do not concern yourself they are fine” Fenris replied. We sat talking of the nights events well horror and embarrassment stayed written over my face for most of the afternoon. Varric and Fenris were talking in hushed whispers when they decided to suddenly leave us and go for a look around, I figured Fenris hadn’t been here long so he didn’t know his way around and then I saw Garrett smirking “ what don’t I know?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise now if my smut is not very good I have never written it before, but I hope you like it

“Fenris has been here for weeks, he knows his way around Haven they wanted to give us some space” he smiled   
“Space but why?” I was completely oblivious  
“Emy, come with me lets go home, I think we need to talk”  
“that doesn’t sound good. Did I do something wrong?” I asked all of a sudden very worried  
“no its not like that, come with me” he held out his hand for me to take it.  
“o. okay”  
We walked back into our cabin and he locked the door behind him, before I had the chance to say anything his lips were on mine he put his hands around me and kissed me deeper, our kiss became more heated and passionate. I moaned into his mouth and it was enough to spur him on he pushed me back into the wall and I grunted his kissing was become more urgent. He stopped kissing me for a moment. He was staring into my eyes as he lifted me up holding me in place against the wall and started kissing my throat “ I want you Emy” he breathed in my ear before nibbling my earlobe he continued kissing and nibbling on my throat as he carried me to the bed “Garrett” I moaned he was making me so hot. He lay me down on the bed and began to undo the ties on my breeches “what do you want?” there was a husk in his voice and his eyes were dark with lust “I want” his hands found their way to the inside of my thighs as he stroked them. He pushed my smalls aside and his fingers entered me “mmmnnn I want” I was panting he used his thumb to massage circles around my clitoris , “I want you inside me” I stated in between pants. His mouth his hands I wss so turned on I could feel the pressure building my moans were becoming louder.” Patience little bird, I want you to come undone” he breathed into my ear it was enough to send me over the edge as I climaxed. As I came down from my high he sat me up to help remove my tunic and breast band. As he undressed me I began undressing him as I looked into his eyes he began kissing me again. I got to my knees and took off his breeches. My hands went to his member and began pumping him. I took him in my mouth and began sucking whilst I pumped “fuck Emy I wont last long like this” he moaned I continued for a few more moments when he stopped me and grabbed me up his mouth was back on mine and he pushed me down on the bed. But never letting go of me. ”I want to be inside you” he moaned he interlocked his hands with mine and lifted them above my head, he parted my legs with his and locked both my hands with one of his whist he used his other hand to guide himself into me. “are you sure” he asked before he entered me and I nodded. He entered me slowly gave me a moment to become accustomed to his size. He picked up his pace quickly and relentlessly. As I lifted my hips to meet him his free hand found my clitoris and he stroked me while pounding into me. My moans were becoming erratic and loud “come for me little bird” he whispered in my ear. At his command a came a few seconds later he followed. We continued kissing before falling asleep in each other’s arms.  
I woke up before dawn it was still quite dark so I figured dawn was still hours away, I looked around and I was alone. His clothes were gone and I pulled the blanket up in shame. I felt a pang of regret ‘was this a mistake? Did he not like it? Did I do something wrong?’ all these thoughts swirling around my head. I sat there for a while realising that Garrett wasn’t coming back I got dressed and went to the bath house I needed to feel clean. When I left the bath house the sun was just coming up, I walked back to my cabin to find Solas waiting for me. “Hello Solas, is there something I can do for you?” I asked  
“I was wishing to speak with you about your knowledge of future events”  
“it depends what you want to know, as I said to the advisors I cannot tell you. If I tell you too early then it can have devastating events.   
“I understand but how did you come to aquire this knowledge?” fuck shit I thought how the fuck do I answer him without letting him know I know about him. “um okay so these events are past history”  
“but you said your world had no magic?”  
“it didn’t at least not in the time that I was there. It may have hundreds of years ago but I don’t know I wasn’t around then so I can’t say”  
“Magic cannot just disappear without a trace; it still has to be there”  
“I don’t know what to tell you Solas. Im sorry but I cannot give you any more details If I do then I can alter something I shouldn’t” I hadn’t finished the sentence when Fenris was stood there “Emilia is everything okay?”  
“Hello Fenris” I smiled at him “im sorry Solas that I cant be more helpful”  
“thank you for your time Miss Carpenter I shall leave you to it goodbye” he nodded my face must of said something because Fenris was giving me an appraising look.


	16. Chapter 16

. He opened the door to the cabin. Luckily Garrett had not removed the silencing spell he set up when we had our war meeting a while back. “would you like to talk to me about what is bothering you?” he asked  
“I do but I don’t know how much I can tell you without causing problems all I can say for now is that Solas is on our side. All I can say is it will change and it has to change but he cannot know what I know about him he will kill me. If I don’t say anything it is for a reason. Anyway, shall we go and get something to eat? Im famished. “ I smiled “ I also need to see Leliana and ask her to come by the Cabin sometime when she is free It is very important.”  
We walked past Leliana’s tent and asked for her to see us when she could. We went to go and have breakfast and then took a short walk around the lake before a runner informed us that Leliana was ready to talk to us. As we walked home I began feeling dread and anxiety “Emilia are you well? You look concerned and have gone quiet.”   
“ im not sure Fenris, I suppose you will find out shortly” as soon as I was home I sat on the bed and started twiddling with my thumbs he stood by the door looking at me concerned “ whatever it is we will help you don’t have to carry this burden alone”  
“thank you but im unsure if you will change your mind when you hear what I have to say” I sighed almost crying. Leliana knocked on the door and Fenris went to open it I asked her to have a seat and preceded to explain why I had asked for her. “hello Leliana, so you know you said I could talk to you whenever I needed to right?” I asked  
“yes is something the matter?” she asked looking at the worry etched in my face  
“okay so um I asked for you to meet here because you remember that silencing spell Garrett placed upon this cabin a few weeks ago its still in place so it’s the safest place to talk to you. Im telling you and Fenris this because I know no matter what neither of you will tell any one and would rather go to your graves.” I braced myself and took a deep breath no one said a word they waited for me whilst I gathered my thoughts Fenris must of realised it was bad as he took a seat next to me and held my hand I looked at him and smiled “I need help to make evacuation supplies. And I need you to send a missive to a Delrin Barris at Therinfal. I need you to tell him that his fears are real and to leave there and only tell those he can trust with his life. When Garrett and Aly come back it won’t be good news they will explain about Alexius the Tevinter Magister, which I have already explained. Anyway they need to go and help the mages there are far more innocents at risk if we help the templars. If we send this missive to Barris then we can try and save as many people as possible. Events are different so I don’t know who will have to go through this nightmare, but Alexius wants another meeting with the Herald he believes she has stolen the power she has to close rifts. He is part of a Venatori cult Tevinter idiots that believe the world should be made a new in the name of this Elder one. I can’t tell you who he is just yet not until Garrett is back.  
The second time they go back to Redcliffe either Garrett or Aly or even someone else will get sucked through a call it a portal a door to somewhere else with Dorian. They are transported to a year in the future where the inquisition fails, everyone dies except for you Leliana. It appears you have a tolerance to the blight which the Elder one and Alexius don’t like so they experiment on you. I will save you the horror all I will tell you is that in this future you die protecting those that go through that portal to get them back here with this knowledge and change that future making sure it doesn’t happen” I was shaking and tears flowing down my face and I hadn’t even got through the worst bit yet. “do you want to take a break Emy?” Leliana asked “ I shall make us some tea” she walked over to the fire to boil some water, whilst I took some time to breathe and recollect my thoughts. A short time later she came back with a teapot with cups on a tray and began pouring some Embrium tea. “the Embrium is supposed to make you feel calmer” she explained “take as much time as you need “  
“thank you” I smiled continuing to sip on my tea when I had finished Fenris took the cup and put it back on the tray so I continue telling them what I needed.  
“once the gang get back here they will have the mages with them and are ready to close the breach. Aly is able to siphon the power she needs to close it and we are successful. Whilst everyone is celebrating you pull your scouts back. You need to pull them back or they will die. Haven is attacked by the Elder one he has a dragon. It is not an archdemon although everyone thinks it is. The Elder one and the Dragon’s power is linked together.   
We gain another ally at this time his name is Cole he a spirit of compassion, and yes I know Fenris your not happy to hear this but I promise you he is safer then anyone else here. Haven will not survive Aly has to level it with an avalanche or its game over. he wins and we lose. I need help with evacuation supplies, making sure that all children, elderly and anyone who cannot fight is relocated secretly without anyone knowing what we are doing. Chancellor Roderick knows of the Summer Pilgrimage path we need him to show you where it is. Haven will be over run with templars, they have ingested red lyrium. They are more deadly then ever. If we can set up a camp somewhere in the mountains it has to be precise we need to be attacked before it can be established. We cannot run before we are attacked or we all die.   
People will die but I hope to limit the casualties as much as possible. Aly wont die she is thrown into a mine where I will leave her medical supplies weapons, warm clothing and food she will meet us at the camp sometime after but I can’t tell you when. We need Cullen and his soldiers to get on and get those trebuchets built as soon as possible.”  
“I have to ask if Haven is buried where does the inquisition go?” Leliana asked  
“Solas knows of a place that he guides us too it’s called Skyhold it’s a fortress to the north we won’t find it until we need it, I think there is magic protecting it. It needs some work but it will protect us for years to come”.


	17. Chapter 17

“Emilia we will help you anyway we can.”  
“Fenris is correct we will not let you go through this alone. I will have some of my scouts help you with making supplies ones that I trust with my life and we shall start an evacuation plan as soon as possible. I will also explain to Josie that I am ordering more supplies but will not tell her why, until you are ready to let everyone know.”  
“we also need to start training anyone who can fight to fight with what ever weapon they feel most comfortable with. Every single person staying behind will need to fight.”  
We finished talking over plans well into the afternoon, the emotional toll of this conversation had made me unable to eat.  
Three weeks I still couldn’t eat properly. Nightmares were plaguing me Fenris had to wake me up on numerous occasions because I was using magic I couldn’t control or I would be screaming in terror. By the third week I was trying to avoid sleep as much as possible. I was so busy making evacuation supplies. One night I fell asleep in the infirmary Fenris had to come and wake me up, unfortunately this continued for a further three weeks. I was beyond exhausted and barely eating. Fenris was passed concerned he had asked Leliana to come and talk to me numerous times but it didn’t work I was killing myself trying to do what I could and try and keep as many people as possible alive.  
On the sixth week Garrett and the others were due back in the next day or two Leliana had explained that Barris was due to arrive the day after Garrett had returned and that he had companions with him although Leliana didn’t tell me how many. The look on her face was enough to tell me it wasn’t many. Fenris had already left to meet the Iron Bull and the Chargers so he left strict instructions with the guard who was staying with me. She brought me food and wouldn’t leave me alone until I had eaten. she was trying her best to look after me I couldn’t fault her for caring.  
I just couldn’t eat I needed to concentrate on the supplies. I had fell asleep in the infirmary again I was in such a deep sleep I didn’t hear that Garrett and Fenris had come home a day earlier then expected. Whilst on the road Fenris had explained about something bothering me but didn’t explain what it was he told Garrett that I wasn’t eating or sleeping and that I was working myself to death. Garrett had decided that it was better that he and Fenris come back sooner than the rest of the gang. As he wanted to make sure I was okay.   
On the night he had come back I was asleep; I was having the worst nightmare I could possibly have and set the infirmary on fire. It was lucky that there were no patients in there and I had already had all the evacuation supplies moved to where they needed to be. I was completely unconscious as the infirmary was burning down around me. The fire was burning hotter than a normal fire no one could get close. Garrett had frozen some of the fire that he was able to run in and get me. He picked me up and ran out. “Emy wake up come on please” he tried to wake me as he put me down on the ground “inquisitor I need you to move out of the way” Talos explained but Garrett didn’t seem to be listening “Hawke move let Talos help Emilia” Fenris called to him putting a hand on his shoulder.  
Talos had explained that I had inhaled lots of smoke and that my breathing would not be good for a while. I was lucky that I only received a nasty burn to my arm and some of my hair was singed off. But I would be okay. When I woke up sometime soon I looked around and saw I was back in my bed Garrett was sat next to me watching me whilst Fenris stayed on the other bed dozing. As I tried to sit up I sucked in a breath and began having a coughing fit “Garrett your home?” I started coughing again “what happened?”  
“There was a fire in the infirmary, you almost died. Talos said you inhaled a lot of smoke and that breathing and talking would be difficult for you, she told me to tell you that when you wake up you were to drink this it will help you to sleep without dreaming” I looked at him unsure of how to respond “Fenris explained that you have been having nightmares” I nodded and began crying “ you have been using magic you burned down the infirmary.” I was shocked as Garrett tried to pull me to him I pulled away I was scared what the hell did I do? I pulled myself in to a ball I was terrified and shaking and crying. “hey little bird look at me,” I began rocking back and forth I was in shock  
“did I … did I hurt anyone?” my voice was just above a whisper I was scared of the answer. “Emy look at me” Garrett was sterner this time “no you didn’t you only hurt yourself, please tell me what is going on? What has upset you this much?” he pulled me to him and I cried harder.  
“Can I explain to you tomorrow? Can I drink that drink? I just want to sleep” I asked I was beyond exhausted Garrett handed me the draught seemingly unhappy I hadn’t said anything to him but still holding me close. Fenris was a light sleeper so whilst Garrett had explained what happened he had woken up once Garrett knew I was asleep he spoke to Fenris “what happened whilst I was away Fen?”  
“her nightmares must have gotten worse to the point she has not slept at all”  
“that’s not what I meant”  
“I don’t know what you want me to say Hawke, the day you left she was very sad, she didn’t tell me why. I had assumed it was something to do with you. As for the reason for her nightmares? She needs to tell you”  
“I didn’t think that leaving her would upset her so much, although I think it was more of how I left. I didn’t get a chance to see her before departing” he sighed as he watched me sleep stroking my hair.  
“you truly care for this girl don’t you”  
“I do Fen, I really do”  
“good because she cares a great deal about you too, and I like this girl” he smirked “so fix it” and Garrett smiled neither said another word the rest of the night, they had decided it was time for them both to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

I managed to get a full night of sleep my voice was almost gone and I sounded very croaky, my breathing still not great but at least the burn on my arm wasn’t bothering Fenris had explained Garrett had gone to brief the advisors on the events that had occurred and that they were expecting me when I woke up. Before we walked out of our cabin 3 assassins smashed through the windows and Fenris had to fight 3 of them two of them had pinned him against the wall and the third had managed to stab him with a dagger. It seemed to make Fenris angrier he lit up and punched his arm through one of the assassin’s chest and ripped out his heart.   
The second assassin didn’t see it coming Fenris literally snapped his neck as the third assassin walked over to me I don’t know how I did it but I created a barrier type solid wall that he couldn’t break through. It was enough of a distraction that Fenris stabbed his sword right through the third assassin’s abdomen and blood spurted everywhere. Fenris fell to his knees when he was sure the last assassin was dead. I managed to make the barrier disappear and ran over to him to make sure he was okay. “Fenris, are you okay?”   
“I think there was poison on that blade I need a healer” as he groused this to me I felt this power inside of me it took over my hands and I waved them over Fenris’s wound I sat in shock watching as it disappeared and Fenris look instantly better.  
“Thank you Emilia, how have you used and controlled two spells when last night one of them almost killed you” he asked  
“I don’t know, it was like I knew what I needed to do and the power called to me? Not the other way around, at least that’s the best way I can explain it.” Fenris stood up and offered his hand to help me up “in any case we can talk of this later let us go to the Chantry and explain what has just happened.” I nodded and we made our way there “Fenris? Im not sure I can explain this again” I looked at him before we walked to the doors of the war room.   
“Emilia just know that you are not alone and if need be there are three of us that can explain things so if you cannot we can.”  
“thanks Fenris” I smiled a troubled smile “lets get this over with”  
The meeting had not gone well, I had began to explain about Redcliffe, but between my voice and my anxiety levels Leliana continued for me and explained the situation at Redcliffe. Fenris had supplied the information about contacting the Templar order and that some were on route. Cullen visibly relaxed at hearing this. We hadn’t explained about the attack on Haven yet as I had told them we couldn’t tell anyone until the group had gotten back from Redcliffe the second time.  
As I thought I had finished explaining everything. “that is not everything” I looked at Garrett as he said this unsure of what he was talking about as far as I knew I had given them everything I could remember “Alexius he has asked that you be there at our next meeting”. I blanched I felt all colour draining from my face Garrett saw my reaction “ I take it this is new?” I nodded  
“im the variability here, im new to the equation” I whispered  
“so, we send someone in her place and we pretend they are Lady Carpenter” Cullen suggested to which I felt a slight bit better it only lasted a second before Garrett spoke “unfortunately not, Alexius seems to have a very detailed description of her, he even showed us a drawing which matches Emy exactly. We can’t send anyone in her place and he will not meet us without her and Aly present. I was beginning to panic, and they could see it my breathing was becoming very rapid and shallow. “Emy I need you to calm down” Garrett came over and put his hands on my shoulders trying to ground me. I began shaking my head, I was having a panic attack “no” I managed to wheeze out with my already terrible breathing it only took minutes before I fainted.  
“easy little bird” Garrett helped me sit up “ you had a panic attack, but because your already struggling to breathe you fainted”  
“Garrett?”  
“im here im here” he sat on the floor with me in his arms and hugged me  
“you left? When I woke up you were gone, you didn’t say anything before you left” I just began crying “ I know im sorry, I never meant to hurt you”  
“please don’t” I tried to push him away so I could hug myself  
“Emy believe me I never wanted to hurt you, that night as you slept an assassin broke in, I think they thought I was asleep, they were there for you, I was gone because I was in a meeting with the advisors and how to deal with the multiple assassination attempts. Emy I believe this is not just about your foreknowledge, when I went back home you were gone and I never got the chance to talk to you before I had to leave” he explained as I looked at my hands “I care very much about you little bird please give me a chance?” he lifted my chin to meet his eyes “I promise you I never meant to hurt you, next time I promise to wake you and tell you everything immediately im so very sorry” he kissed me and then held me close to him as I cried. We sat on the floor of the war room for a while until I had calmed down “ do you feel ready to continue the war meeting?” he asked  
“um can we continue tomorrow? I think I just want to sleep the rest of the day” I admitted.  
“okay lets go home” he stood up and helped me up “ let me send a runner to inform the advisors we will continue tomorrow”.


	19. Chapter 19

The next day I felt more refreshed than I had in a while, I made it one night with no nightmares, I awoke with a heavy weight against me. I turned my head slightly to see that Garrett was still asleep. I noticed Fenris was not around so I turned over and started stroking Garrett’s face, he opened his eyes slowly and took a moment before his eyes had fixed on me “hi” I whispered  
“what does hi mean?” he murmured  
“oh, where I am from it’s a greeting it’s a shorter form of hello” I smiled as he brought my hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles  
“in that case hi, back” he smiled “I think we should stay here in bed all day” he waggled his eyebrows and I laughed  
“not whilst im still around please” Fenris groaned as he walked back into our room, he was carrying a tray with tea and cups on it I laughed again “morning Fenris” I greeted  
“ it is good to see you smiling and laughing again Emilia” he smiled at me and I smiled back “it really is good to see you smile little bird” Garrett smiled as he kissed the side of my head before sitting up and taking a cup that Fenris offered him. “Emy we have a couple of things we want to talk to you about” Garrett spoke up  
“okay Im not sure if I am going to like this” I replied pulling a face and Garrett laughed  
“ relax little bird its not that bad”. He smiled and took a sip of his tea “ Fenris and I have decided that we want you to learn to protect yourself. Im going to teach you to prsctice controlling your magic better, but we believe that it would be good for you to learn some basic skills.”  
“our hope is you wont ever need to use them Emilia, just that with so many attacks on your life we think you should know of these skills. You will never be alone that you should ever need to use them but we would feel better teaching you” Fenris interjected.  
“Okay when do we start?”  
“this morning,” Fenris supplied  
“this is so not going to end well” I sighed  
Well my first training session went exactly as I thought it would, the bruises on my ass had bruises. Fenris and Garrett were laughing at me at the twentieth time I must of lost count. The look on my face must have been amusing because it set them off in more fits of laughter, two can play this game I thought so I pretended to throw a strop. I picked up the training staff they had given me to practice with and walked away, Garrett ran over to me to apologise as he caught up to me I backed up behind him kicked the back of his knee and he jerked forward I used the staff to swipe out his legs whilst he had a momanetary distraction. It worked he landed on his back only I had forgotten he was holding onto me and I went down with him. I dropped the staff and landed right on top if him I went down with a squeal “well that didn’t go to plan” I looked down to him and he was smiling and began laughing at me “nice try little bird” he was trying to be cocky  
“hey its not my ass in the mud this time” I joked   
“that it is not” Fenris laughed and held out a hand to help me up “we shall work on that again tomorrow”  
“Hey since when did I become a practice dummy?” Garrett whined  
“since it was your ass in the mud” Fenris joked and I laughed   
“come on boys lets go get some breakfast” i smiled as I walked off in front of them towards the tavern.  
We sat in the tavern for some time just chatting it was the first time In weeks I had felt okay ish neither Garrett or Fenris had brought up nightmares or the suffering I was making myself endure. Although I didn’t eat much of my breakfast neither said anything, they just seemed to have a secret conversation with each other by looks I was completely oblivious to it. A runner came up to us and told us it was time for our meeting “there goes my good mood” I muttered  
“its okay little bird im right here with you, im not going anywhere” Garrett took my hand in his and we left to go to our meeting.


	20. Chapter 20

“Are we seriously considering sending her into Redcliffe” Cullen shouted   
“She has a name Commander maybe you should learn to use it” Garrett sniped. I zoned out to what they was saying I was worrying for Alyssa and Garrett thinking of the horrors that awaited them in that future “Emy did you hear what we said” Leliana asked concerned  
Garrett moved closer to me “breathe little bird breathe, no matter what I promise you I will keep you safe”  
“How?, if I go with you it changes everything I have told you, people could die” I looked sadly at him. “Garrett it all goes to shit there, whoever gets pulled through to that future it will change them. You wont be able to concentrate on what is to come and worry about keeping me safe, its too dangerous to split your duties like that.” I tried explaining  
“that is why I will be going with you, my sole responsibility will be to keep you safe” he stated I gasped “Fenris you can’t, Tevinter and Magisters it will be like asking you to walk into your worst nightmare, I cant pretend to know the horrors you faced but I know enough.”  
“Emilia it will be fine”  
“Fenris she is right, now I can’t stop you coming to Redcliffe but maybe it might be better to ask Iron Bull to protect her whilst in the castle? We can at least give you the option to keep away from a situation, that we all know will make you extremely uncomfortable.”  
I let go of Garrett’s hand and walked over to Fenris I put a hand on his chest “ please Fenris, all you have done is protect me, let us protect you from this” I pleaded as he looked at my face “whilst I appreciate your concern Emilia, I need time to think” he replied then he nodded to us and left the war room. “He can be so stubborn sometimes” I sighed  
“That’s our Fenris, always has been stubborn that one” he smiled sadly “Before we continue I think we need to include Iron Bull in this as if he is to be the one to protect he needs to know why” Garrett surmised and the advisors agreed. “Cue Dorian barging in a few seconds” I stated to which Dorian was not amused as no one was surprised to see him. He raised an eyebrow at me and I winked at him with a smile. Garrett had decided that Cassandra and Varric would be the ones to accompany him and Aly, whilst Fenris and Bull were to stay with me. Dorian had explained that he would meet us at Redcliffe he wanted to keep himself a secret. 

The plan was set in motion, Fenris and Iron bull would be my guard detail whilst we made our way to Redcliffe I was not to get into fights, I was to remain with one of them or Garrett at all times. Garrett had procured me some daggers and a leg holster, to which he helped to show me how to do it up. As he tied the buckle up on the inside of my thigh I let out a small gasp to which he smiled up at me. He came up to kiss me so quickly it surprised me, unfortunately our moment was interrupted quite quickly when Iron Bull came knocking on the door telling us it was time to leave. “we will continue this little bird” he pulled away smiling watching my reaction. Garrett had set of scout armour made for me. I was not impressed with it but he had that don’t argue with me look on his face so I kept quiet about it.  
He had explained that had enchanted runes and that they were embedded into the uniform to offer me extra protection. He explained that he was hoping I wouldn’t need the runes, but they were there in case I needed them. I didn’t say it but I was unsure if they would work, healing magic didn’t affect me much, it only seemed to save me from dying.  
Aly had decided to braid my long red hair into what looked like a French plait she said it was best to keep it out of the way. This trip was the first time we actually spent much time together. I found that on route to Redcliffe we actually got along really well. Although I was sharing a horse with Garrett. Aly and I spent a lot of the journey there together talking. Fenris and Garrett had come to an agreement that the one half of the day each I would share their horse with them. It was so one horse wasn’t constantly taking the weight of two people. I was told I was not allowed a horse of my own as it was too dangerous, I was secretly relived or while it wasn’t much a secret as both Fenris and Garrett smirked at me when I let out a sigh of relief when they told me I would not get a horse of my own. In fairness last time I got on a horse was when I was seven years old it did not go well and I fell off and broke my arm. They had stated that if we were attacked by bandits then I would be more protected as I was with someone.  
It took approximately a week and a half to reach the camp on the outskirts of the Hinterlands and boy was my legs and ass extremely sore. Once we stopped at the camp I was extremely grateful that Garrett had offered to help me get of the horse, my legs buckled as I stood up and Garrett laughed “give it a moment little bird get your land legs back before you try and walk” I was leaning on him until my legs felt better. I was grumbling about how sore and stiff they were that Garrett and Fenris had found it very amusing Aly had to take pity on me and help me sit down and rest. As we walked away to go and get a seat, I turned around and flipped them both off to which seemed to amuse them more. The nights passed without incidence but that was probably because I was so tired I had dreamless sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

The closer that we got to Redcliffe, my anxiety levels started to spike and my nightmares came back on full force. We were to reach Redcliffe castle tomorrow so Garrett suggested we set up camp and rest for the night. My nerves were shot and I could see the concern on everyone’s faces. I couldn’t handle it I l went to the tent I was sharing with Garrett and Fenris and tried to get some sleep. I had decided I didn’t want to eat anything my stomach couldn’t handle food.  
I had fallen asleep pretty quickly I think my emotions had made me very tired. I awoke sometime through the night screaming and shaking, Garrett tried to hold me but I was thrashing around. It took some time him holding me as tight as he could to calm me down “you didn’t say it was this bad Fenris, is it always like this?” Garrett asked as he kept me in his hold, I was so out of it I don’t actually think I had woken back up.  
“it is, you saw the fire in her clinic, I think that was the worst. But yes, it has been like this a while” Fenris explained  
“its no wonder she wouldn’t sleep until she had too” Garrett released his hold and stroked my face whilst I slept. Unfortunately, this was the first of three nightmares this night and not one of us felt very rested in the morning. When I did wake up I noticed that Garrett and Fenris were watching me and talking in hushed whispers. “hey what’s going on?” I asked still in sleep mode.  
“Emy we need to talk” Garrett pulled me closer to him as he sat me up and leant me against his chest. “what did I do?” I asked very hesitantly and afraid of the answer, I was trying not to get upset “Hey you didn’t do anything” I was looking at Garrett as he spoke. “you had nightmares last night, we couldn’t even wake you from them. They were very bad Emy.”  
“im sorry, im really sorry you have to deal with my issues, I will try and not let them bother you again”   
“issues? Emy no, I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t talk to me” Garrett explained  
“I don’t remember what I was dreaming about” I suddenly said hoping it would be enough for him to drop the conversation  
“somehow I doubt that” he murmured to himself.  
Aly and I were not due at the castle until dusk, so Fenris had decided that we should work on archery skills. I had manged to learn to use a bow with magical arrows so I didn’t need a quiver. The last two weeks id been practicing it everyday so I was getting quite good at it and I could change the arrows, some were fire some were ice. Although I still missed targets fifty percent of the time. Fenris had told me to learn how to make them explode on impact so that if I missed my target I could still distract them with a little explosion. He explained that it would give me enough time to run should I need too. Garrett spent his time watching me, he barely spoke to me since talking about my nightmares. Garrett had decided he would teach me some dirty moves that would aid me in the running should I need too Fenris was not a fan of dirty fighting but he did agree that I should learn these moves if it helps to keep me out of danger. I was told that these tactics would not work if I was in a real fight with seasoned soldiers.  
It was late evening by the time we walked through the front doors of Redcliffe. The Guards that were to announce us to Alexius did not look happy that Aly and I hadn’t come alone. Fenris had decided he wasn’t leaving me and the stubborn elf was going to make himself more uncomfortable “we all go in or none of us do” Aly stated matter of factly. My heart was pounding, I felt extremely scared I hadn’t realised Garrett had snuck up on me. “hey Emy, stay calm and stay back with Fenris okay” his eyes were pleading with me not to do something silly. I smiled at Garrett and walked over to Fenris and held his hand. Fenris stiffened for a moment before relaxing and taking my hand back. He gave me a small smile and we walked in. I knew he was uncomfortable; we all were but I knew it was harder for Fenris, he didn’t want to stay behind in case we needed him. I thought he would let go of my hand, but he held is harder and moved closer to me as we entered the throne room.


	22. Chapter 22

. I must have given him a sign that I was panicking because he gave my hand a squeeze and gave me a stiff smile.  
“Ah my friends welcome” Alexius greeted “and your associates of course im sure we can come to some arrangement equitable to all parties” he continued  
“are we mages to have no say in deciding our fate?” Fiona asked well more kind of demanded  
“Fiona you would not have turned your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives” Alexius grit out  
“if the Grand Enchanter wants to be a part of these talks then I welcome her as a guest of the inquisition” Garrett smiled snidely  
“Thank you inquisitor” Fiona nodded in respect. Alexius did not appear happy that we had let Fiona continue to be apart of our talks. “The inquisition needs mages to help close the breach, and I have them. So, what shall you offer in exchange?” he looked directly at me as if I was the item to offered on the inquisitions behalf. Garrett moved closer and in front of me as if to protect me whilst Fenris pulled me slightly closer to him as if he was reading Garrett’s thoughts. “nothing” Garrett stated “and certainly not the Inquisition’s Oracle, im going to take the mages and leave” he stated matter of fact.   
“and how do you’ll accomplish a such a feat” Alexius scoffed  
“they know everything father” Felix stood next to his father no longer keeping quiet  
“Felix what have you done?” Alexius sniped  
“He only told us what we already knew” Garrett explained  
“Ah yes your infamous oracle, the liar, the trickster, the pretender. The Elder one believes you to be a fake” I blanched as he looked straight at me “along with your Herald, a thief and he wants what you stole back! Along with your oracle” he looked back at me and smiled “your lucky dear he wants you alive” he said in such a chilling way I panicked and even Bull was now as close to me in a protective stance I hadn’t noticed as I began shaking. “Father do you know what you sound like?” Felix gasped cue Dorian “the villainous cliché everyone expects us to be” Dorian waltzed in “Alexius have you gone mad? This is exactly what we spoke about never wanting to happen” Dorian exclaimed  
“its too late Dorian that is not the Alexius you know, The Elder one promised him that he would save Felix, but he won’t” I stated Alexius watched me in curiosity   
“it doesn’t matter anymore, Venatori kill them, keep the oracle alive.” I instinctly moved as close as possible to Fenris, he put his arm around me and moved me behind him. Although I knew Leliana’s scouts would take care of the Venatori it still worried me. As per the events of the game the Venatori were quickly disposed of.  
“Your plan failed Alexius” Garrett stated and Alexius pulled out the amulet ‘here we go’ I thought “the Elder one will get what he wants” Alexius shouted  
“NO” Dorian shouted whilst he, Garrett and Aly ran for the amulet a bright green light overtook the room and I felt Fenris push me down and cover my body with his own. When the bright green light dissipated and Fenris backed off me “ its up to them now” I murmured to him, another few moments and there was another flash of green light “you’ll have to do better then that” Dorian stated, the three of them looked a little worse for wear but were all in one piece. Garrett had this very trouble look on his face his eyes searched for me and I felt like I could breathe again when his eyes found mine.  
“its over you have won” Alexius glumly surrendered  
“its for the best father” Felix replied  
“but you will die” Alexius exclaimed  
“we all die father”   
“what you did was wrong Alexius but Felix won’t die yet I can give him more time. But let me make one thing very clear this is not for you. This is for Dorian.” I stated angrily and Alexius stared at me in astonishment. Alexius was hauled up out of the throne room by the guards with Felix and Dorian following. No sooner had they left all that could be heard was feet stomping “your majesty” Fiona gasped and kneeled  
“Grand Enchanter when I offered you and the Southern mages sanctuary, you were not to take control, I have no choice but to banish you from Ferelden” the King stated   
“ Um King Alistar? Could I have a moment of your time?” I asked  
“and who are you?” he lifted an eyebrow at me  
“um okay, so im the inquisition’s oracle” I grimaced as I said it “ I prefer to be called Emy or Emilia” I offered  
“oh yeah I’ve heard of you, your famous you know, although not sure I believe the stories” he supplied  
“really?” I raised my eyebrow “okay don’t say I didn’t warn you” I gave a smirk as he gave me a funny look “so you have a love of cheese, like over the top love of cheese, more like an addiction. Cheese makes you very happy. You didn’t want to become king. The Hero of Ferelden talked you into it, but to be fair she was right you can save Thedas from destruction, Anora would have destroyed everything. Now for the best part” I moved closer to him so I could whisper to him “Riordan didn’t kill the archdemon. You performed a ritual with Morrigan and you have a son” his face paled and he stuttered “there is one more thing you should know and please don’t hate me for springing more on you” I looked over at Fiona “Fiona could you come here a moment please” she walked over looking unsure of what I was going to say “ Alistair meet Fiona your mother, I am sorry I did this toy both, but you both deserve a chance to get to know each other” I smiled and walked away  
“Emilia what was that about?” Fenris asked as Garrett looked at me.   
“oh that? Yeah Fiona is Alistair’s mother I was introducing them” I smiled.

Alistair had let us stay the night in Redcliffe he said it was the least he could do for getting his home back. I stood on the Balcony of the room I was staying in, when I heard a knock on the door “come in” I shouted back  
“Emilia?”  
“hello Alistair, im on the balcony”  
“you know you’re the only one except Meg who calls me by my actual name, its refreshing” he smiled, he leant up against the balcony, next to me  
“I know you don’t like titles there was no point even attempting to try and use it unless you want me too?” I joked  
“don’t you dare” he smiled and I laughed  
“how did it go with Fiona? Unless you don’t want to tell me”  
“its going to take some time, I will admit you were not tactful in anyway” he snorted  
“im really sorry about that, I just felt you both had to have the chance to talk whilst you can. Im sorry I can’t do diplomatic or tactful, I just thought you had the right to know and coming from someone who never got to spend time with her mother, if I had the chance to talk to her again I would jump at the chance”  
“What happened?”  
“my father, he murdered my mum when I was eight. After that it was just me and my sister. But now she’s gone too”  
“im sorry, it can’t have been easy for you”  
“it’s okay, It’s made me stronger, its made me who I am today and I think my mum would be proud of me”  
“you know its quite disturbing having someone know so much about your life, especially when you have never met before” he smiled  
“I know, I am sorry it can’t be easy listening to me tell you your life story”  
“that’s the reason I came. I wanted to thank you, not only for the mage situation but the situation with Fiona, if you had not of said anything, I wonder if she would have?”  
“she was afraid of what people would say about you, if they had learned about your heritage. She was concerned for you”  
“she said pretty much the same”  
“what did you say to her?”  
“the truth, that I don’t care, never have about what others say. Its nice to have someone to call family, I assume you already know about Goldanna?” he grimaced and I just nodded. “I know I have Arl Eamon but to have a mother its nice” he smiled “so yeah as I said thank you, you will never know what giving me a mother means to me.”  
“its nothing, oh and you know how to contact me if you ever want knocking off the throne and made to feel normal” I joked and he laughed.


	23. Chapter 23

Alistair had given us all our own rooms for the night, he promised us that his guards could be trusted with his life and that they would protect us all, Fenris and Garrett were still unsure so they were given rooms opposite and next door to me should they need to get me. I went to go and knock on Garrett’s door but I didn’t get a reply so I went back to my room dejected and down. It was the first time since being in Thedas I was alone, I had been here almost 9 months so being alone was not easy. I lay down on the bed and stared till I fell asleep, i had another nightmare and was woken up by Fenris, Garrett stood at the door watching Fenris calm me down and telling the guards that they were not needed and that I was just suffering with nightmares. I called to Garrett to ask him to stay, he looked like he wanted to leave, in the end he got on the bed and I curled into him and fell back to sleep.

The trip home was tense Garrett barely spoke to me. One week into our trip home I had, had enough. We had made camp for the night, we had one more camp site to reach before making our way back to Haven. I went in search for Garrett to find he was sat on a log looking over a lake. “Garrett? Can I talk to you?” I didn’t get a response  
“Garrett?” I put a hand on his shoulder and he jumped and grabbed me, in turn I fell over the log and ended up on the floor “Emy? Im sorry” he helped me back up and I sat down next to him “Garrett are you alright?”  
“I don’t know. A lot happened in that future; I just need time”  
“im sorry I won’t disturb you again” I was kind of hoping that he would ask me to stay but he didn’t say another word. Fenris had managed to procure a few sleeping draughts for me that wouldn’t let me dream in order for us all to get a good night sleep. I didn’t think about dinner I took one from him drank it and went to my bed roll. I saw the look on his face he wasn’t happy that I didn’t eat. Though this sleeping draught didn’t seem to work and I lay awake on my bedroll.  
“Hawke can I talk to you?” Fenris asked as he sat down on the log next to Garrett  
“I don’t know what to say Fenris, that future was bad”  
“want to talk to me about it?”  
“how much do you know?”  
“enough to know you have barely slept since you got back, Emilia explained most of what you went through.”  
“Fenris she was tortured in unimaginable ways; they only kept her alive for her blood. It seems she is the cure for the blight, its why assassins keep coming after her. I had to kill her, she said it was a mercy, she died in my arms. I cannot get that out of my head. They will keep coming for her, How can I protect her from that?”  
“We will find a way, Hawke don’t give up on her, she hasn’t given up on you”  
“I know, and I won’t give up on her, watching her die? It made me realise I don’t just care about her. Im in love with her. I love her so much and its terrifying.” Garrett just looked out to the lake “Hey Fen? There is one more thing, her sister is here somewhere in Thedas, we need to find her and soon Iris is not immune to the blight and she will turn into something. We can’t let Emy go through that”  
The next morning, we were packing up camp. I hadn’t slept a wink all night, I had just laid there staring into darkness. I needed to talk to Garrett about leaving the horses at the next camp. I found Garrett by the camp fire eating breakfast “Garrett can I have a word a minute please.” I stood there I didn’t feel like I could sit and talk to him after the cold treatment I was getting. “what is it?”  
“um when we get to the next camp can we leave the horses there please”  
“what? Why?”  
“I can’t say”  
“Emy I think you need to tell me what’s going on”  
“Garrett you know I can’t tell you; I don’t want to argue with you, but I also wont tell you what’s going on until you need to know” I wasn’t given much option but to leave. I don’t know what I had done wrong, but it must have been something bad especially if Garrett was barely saying anything to me. I just walked away trying not to cry. Garrett didn’t look at me, didn’t bat an eyelid.  
The trip to the next campsite was similar to how we went to Redcliffe half the day with Fenris and half the day with Garrett. The first part of the day wasn’t too bad although I didn’t say much and it was awkward, but it wasn’t half as bad as what it was going to be. Even Dorian had made a comment on how tense the atmosphere was. Varric tried telling jokes to cheer everyone up. “Do you want to talk about it?” Fenris asked quietly  
“he hates me Fenris, I don’t know what I did wrong, but he hates me” I murmured.  
“Emilia he doesn’t hate you, he just wants to protect you and he is unsure how to do it, that’s what makes him so angry, he cares very much for you and he is afraid of losing you.”  
“but he hates that I keep secrets from him, I keep them for good reason, I don’t want to put anyone in danger”.  
“he knows that we all do, you two need to talk and soon, everyone here is feeling your tension, so go and sort it out with him”.  
When it was time to get on the horse with Garrett, he got off his horse, helped me up then got up and sat in a tense silence. As time went on the atmosphere became so unbearable that our companions had left us.


	24. Chapter 24

“Garrett? Are you going to tell me what the matter is? You have barely spoken to me or when you have you have been very cold or snappy, im sorry I haven’t told you everything. But I can’t”. Garrett still never said a word to me. It went on like this for a while longer, our group was still a way in front of us. I couldn’t take it anymore. “enough! Let me off the horse” I snapped  
“What? Why?” he replied angrily  
“oh now you talk to me. Garrett let me off the horse!”  
“NO” I tried to shuffle and fidget as much as I could to get off the horse to no avail.  
“Garrett let me off” I snapped again  
“I said no Emy and you fucking around isn’t helping, you’re just making the horse nervous”  
“Seriously who gives you the right to control me” I screamed the whole time we were arguing Garrett hadn’t let up and was still guiding the horse forward albeit at a slower pace than before. “don’t be absurd I am not controlling you” he growled  
“like hell your not, since I arrived in Thedas all any of you have done is try and control me or keep me from doing anything that doesn’t benefit you. You want me to tell you everything, knowing full well I cant. And when I don’t tell you I get the cold snappy silent treatment. I get made to feel like im in the wrong whenever I do something not to your liking. I have been a prisoner since I got here and that hasn’t changed because you gave me that slight bit more freedom, its still controlled freedom” I was beyond angry. “you won’t even give me the freedom to take a piss if that is not control then I don’t know what is.” I spat  
“Emy” he sighed “im not trying to control you, and I didn’t know you felt that way. You need to talk to me. Tell me how your feeling, not keep it to yourself till you explode like this. I love you and I just want to keep you safe, im just learning how”  
“wait hold up” I turned back as much as I can to face him “ what did you just say?”  
“that I want to protect you?” he looked at me oblivious to what he just told me.”  
“no not that, Garrett you just said you love me”  
“not quite the way I wanted to tell you. Look Emy this is new to me, im going to make mistakes and you’re not always going to agree with me. But do not for one-minute think I am trying to keep you a prisoner or control you, because I promise you im not. I just want to keep you safe” I didn’t realise I was holding a breath until he kissed me, he put his hand under my chin and lifted my face to meet his he pulled away slightly “ I love you little bird” he sighed as he kissed me again. “ its okay if your not ready to say it yet, I will wait for you” he smiled at me. The rest of our journey was much more pleasant now we had made up.

We packed up our belongings and left the last camp before reaching Haven. I was still having nightmares to which Garrett had told me the morning before we left that he was extremely concerned. I promised him that when we got home I would tell him everything. Although it would take three days to walk back as he had listened to me and left the horses at the camp. All Garrett did for three days was grumble about how he could have been home quicker had he taken a horse, I found it very amusing which just made him grumble more.


	25. Chapter 25

As we got back to Haven, Garrett called over a runner and told them to tell the advisors we were having a meeting. I could see the tense look in his face as he turned back around to me and gave a stiff smile. He told me he needed this meeting out of the way with as quickly as possible. we made our way to the war room when Garrett had asked me to tell him what was bothering me and I explained I would tell him in the meeting.  
As the meeting got underway Garrett had told the advisors about Redcliffe, most things were as I had already explained but I was shocked when Garrett had explained about me being a cure for the blight. The worst shock for me was when he explained that my sister Iris was in Thedas. I just looked on in shock. “Hey Emy?” Garrett came to pull me out of my trance “ Emy I know your in shock and I promise to explain all I know to you, but for now I need you to talk to us, we need to know what has upset you so much” he looked at me pleadingly “ perhaps I can help with that?” Leliana interjected “that is of course if Emy wants me to begin?” she looked at me for permission and I nodded.  
“So, for the past couple of months, Emy and I have been working on an evacuation plan”  
“what an evacuation? Why?” Cullen asked in shock  
“Because when the breach is closed Haven will be attacked” I murmured I couldn’t look at anyone. I couldn’t look at the horror on their faces. Tears just kept falling and I stood in silence “Leliana recounted all the information I had told her.  
“A dragon how can Haven survive a dragon? “Josie gasped covering her mouth  
“you! You knew about this and didn’t tell us” Cullen shouted at me and I flinched. I unconsciously stepped back a few paces “Commander I suggest you calm yourself or leave” Garrett ordered “Can you not see how much this has affected her” he looked over at me “ she doesn’t eat or sleep, when she does sleep she has nightmares that awful she almost killed herself. She is far more traumatised about this then we thought” Garrett pulled me into him “yes but she is strong she has managed to put a very good plan into action, all children animals and any person who cannot fight have already been evacuated. We have supplies and camps set up and we know our next location” Leliana smiled at us.  
“I apologise inquisitor” Cullen quietly spoke  
“it’s not me who you need to apologise too, commander and while we are on the subject. Your attitude to Emy needs to change and fast or I will find a new commander is that understood” Garrett sounded so official   
“Yes inquisitor” Cullen shrank back.  
“As I was explaining,” Leliana continued on like nothing had just been said “we have planned everything, for every eventuality, the final preparations are being finalised, but we are ready to assault the breach when the Herald is ready.” Leliana looked to Garrett “with your permission Inquisitor, that concludes our meeting and I believe you all could do with a rest.” She smiled and Garrett nodded. Everyone left the war room but Garrett held me back so he could talk to me alone. “this is what has upset you so much?” he looked at me, he took my silence as confirmation. I let the tears flow freely “ oh little bird, you don’t have to take all of this alone, there has to be a way we can share this burden. I can’t have you going through this again. Its killing you” Garrett looked at me and gave me a sad smile as he wiped my tears away.


	26. Chapter 26

The mages were to arrive in Haven within the week and Aly had informed us she was ready to take the breach on. I asked for two weeks to make sure everything and everyone was ready. In fairness I was putting it off as long as possible. I think I wanted to prepare my self for a situation I couldn’t full prepare for. I spent the better part of the two weeks honing my magic skills and training as much I possibly could. Garrett and Fenris had asked me to not to do so much but didn’t push the subject. I think my facial expressions were enough to say I had real concern. I was also at that stage of being angry that everyone had to protect me all the time. I didn’t want to be that scared little girl anymore.   
The sleep and the nightmares hadn’t got any better in fact they were getting worse and I was pushing myself into exhaustion. The day before it was decided it was time to close the breach. Garrett had had enough and told me I wasn’t going to be any training, he told me I was having a rest day and that I wasn’t arguing with him.  
Both he and Fenris had agreed and had made sure no one would let me work. I was not at all amused by either of them, and I made sure they both knew it. I decided it was time I needed to speak to Garrett “Garrett can we take a walk around the lake?, I want to talk to you, Fenris can come along too if you want. I just want out of this cabin”  
We walked around for a few hours at a slow pace just enjoying the rest. I was taking in the sights as this was the last time any of us would see it like this again. I couldn’t cope anymore I suddenly blurted “um so the Elder one? Its Corephyus “Garrett and Fenris both stopped in their tracks and whirled around so fast it made my head spin. “we killed him” Garrett replied in shock  
“I know”  
“then how?”  
“im not sure the mechanics of it, but basically he can take over the bodies of the Grey Wardens. Its not possession because whoever he takes over is gone. I think its because of the taint in their bodies”  
“this is all beginning to make sense” Fenris stated and we both looked at him for an answer “if Emilia can cure the taint, Corephyus is limited. The less bodies he can over.” I looked at Fenris like I wasn’t sure what he was saying  
“im not sure I understand?”   
“it means you’re a threat to him, in turn makes him a bigger threat to you” Garrett explained  
“in that future you went too, did anyone explain how they found this out, I mean something must have happened.”  
“someone knew from the moment you got here, I didn’t want to tell you this but we have a spy here, we have had from the beginning and they know far more about you then even you do. Its why the silence spell is still on the cabin and why I asked Fenris to come here. The first night you moved into our home I was outside talking to Leliana about her concerns. She has known about the spy straight away just not who the spy is” Garrett explained  
“oh” I didn’t know what to say I looked at him in shock.  
“we think that they want to get close to you, and learn what they can about you” Fenris mentioned  
“yeah what Fen said, we are sure that their orders are not to kill you yet, as they have not tried” Garrett continued  
“they would be dead if they tried” Fenris supplied in a chilly manner. We continued our walk; I had decided I had had enough of all the seriousness so I let go of Garretts hand. I pretended to sort my boot out whilst he continued to walk a little further, I picked a clump of snow up and made it into a ball and threw it at him. He turned around and looked at me “ooops it slipped” I shrugged and laughed  
“Emilia you have just started a war I hope you know that” Fenris sighed and walked off muttering children as he went. We were laughing and throwing snow at each other, I lost my footing at one stage and ended up on my butt, Garrett came to help me up but when he least expected it I pulled him down with me. We spent time just laughing before he pulled me into him and started kissing me. What we didn’t know is as Fenris left he was smirking, we decided that it was best to catch up to him. I looked at Garrett and put my fingers to my lips in a shush motion picked up another snowball and threw it at Fenris, only Fenris already knew what I was planning he dodged it and threw 2 at my face both at once. Garrett just laughed as I basically just ate a load of snow.


	27. Chapter 27

It was the day of the assault on the breach. I had told the advisors that whilst they closed it they wouldn’t have any issues. But it seems I was wrong enroute they had to fight many demons and lost 10 mages. There was nothing i could even do for them they were beyond saving. When the breach was closed another five were turned into abominations this news had made Cullen very angry but he kept his mouth shut. As the townspeople began their celebrations i was in my cabin pacing up and down. I knew it was coming and I couldn’t calm down. “Emilia you need to calm down. You have done everything possible to prepare us for this"  
“But Fenris I didn’t, otherwise those mages would still be alive . I’ve missed something, somewhere and for that people are dead. That’s my fault" he tried to tell me it wasn’t my fault but I wouldn’t hear it and just continued pacing. Garrett was working on a plan with Cullen. They had decided that not telling the townspeople was the best course of action, but to have all soldiers and scouts on their guard. Garrett had told Flissa that all the alcohol needed to be watered down. Everything was set. Now we had wait.  
It all happened as we expected. The alarms went and all hell broke loose. Red templars were rushing us. Killing everyone who got in their way. Fenris had told me we were going to the chantry but i told him no. All of us needed to fight. I told him I would stay back and use a bow and arrow. I wasn’t the best shot, but it was enough to kill a couple of templars. From where I was I could see Garrett and Aly fighting more templars quite a way in front of us. He was keeping his own casting his spells. Didn’t stop me worrying about him. The dragon came sooner than I expected. Everywhere was on fire. It was getting hard to see, but we kept going we had too. I kept shooting my magic arrows whilst Fenris stayed close enough to protect me should I need it but not close enough to draw enemies to me. “GET TO THE CHANTRY NOW" someone shouted.  
But I couldn’t see who it was, I only knew it was Garrett by his voice. He kept shouting at people to move it whilst he ran up to Fenris and I. Fenris stabbed his sword straight through the chest of a templar and kicked him away. Blood sprayed everywhere. Garrett grabbed my hand and we ran. We were the last three to make it to the chantry. He had ordered Aly to go and help all stragglers, I had told them who and where they would be before the battle started as we got to the doors to the chantry a group of red 8 templars awaited us. “Garrett?”  
“Emy get behind me, time your shots and do everything that we ask you to do” he didn’t leave much option to argue, but to be fair I didn’t want to argue. I set up some explosive arrows as I had been taught it gave momentary distraction enough for Fenris and Garrett to take down the enemies, only as soon as we felled the first eight more came, I don’t know about the others but I was certainly getting tired. Using this much magic was draining me. Wave after wave came at us Fenris was taking them down with his sword whilst Garrett looked as bad as I felt, his magic was draining too, I could feel him struggling. “that’s enough” a woman’s voice ordered it sounded creepy and wrong, but I also recognised it. I looked to where the voice had come from but was suddenly distracted when Fenris and Garrett were thrown back hard by something red. “GARRETT” I screamed, it took a moment for Fenris to get himself back up and over to us, but Garrett didn’t move. I ran to him and threw myself down. He didn’t move, he wasn’t breathing. I checked for a pulse and nothing. “Emy we need to move now, he wouldn’t want you to die trying to bring him back” Fenris looked so sad  
“I am not leaving him and he is not dead. He just needs help” I grit. I jumped into action and started performing CPR. Fenris took position in front of us to fight who ever it was in front of us. I was so busy trying to get Garrett’s heart to restart. Thirty to two I kept repeating. It took six rounds of me pumping on his chest. His pulse was weak but it was there.  
Fenris was beginning to struggle he was tired, and he couldn’t keep up with the fighting he needed to rest we all did. It took all my will and energy I had left. I shot out a barrier that flung the woman away. It gave us enough time to pick up Garrett and run. As we opened the doors to the chantry. “oh, but dear sister are you not glad to see me?” I whirled around so fast I let go of Garrett and Fenris  
“Iris?”


	28. Chapter 28

I stood there in shock, I couldn’t look away. It was my sister, but she looked wrong. Fenris passed Garrett onto someone within the chantry, but I was stuck staring at Iris that I didn’t see who it was “Emilia we need to move now” I didn’t say a word I didn’t look at him, she gave me such a chilling smile turned around and disappeared “ Emilia move” I didn’t move, he grabbed me and tried to pull me with him. “ah ah ah I haven’t finished with her yet” Iris’s voice sounded so wrong. She waved her hand and threw me away from Fenris I hit a wall hard. “EMILIA” Fenris shouted. He tried to run towards me but he was thrown back into the chantry and the doors were closed behind him. I tried to stand up, Iris waved her hands and I was thrown back against something else. Iris started laughing as she did this a few times. I pushed my hand out to stop her and managed to push her back. I could barely stand and im sure something was broken; I was bleeding quite badly too, what only lasted minutes felt like hours. 

It was a battle of magic, I just didn’t seem to have as much power as Iris, she went to wave her hands to throw me again but I managed to block her. I crossed my arms as if waiting for the hit but a barrier appeared in front of me. She seemed pleased that I was using magic against her, but I was on the defensive and getting tired fast. I managed to keep the barrier up a few moments longer. I sank back to the ground. My magic was useless now. I couldn’t use my power I was far too tired and wanted to sleep. Iris waved her hands again and threw me against a solid brick wall and I felt a something crack in my head. As I landed with an oof I tried to put my hand to my head but I could barely see I felt something thick and I didn’t need to see to know it was blood. I quickly slumped to the floor. Iris raised her hands and I could feel myself being lifted off the ground, it felt like I hands around my throat squeezing the life out of me. I couldn’t breathe and I was seeing spots. This was it I was about to die.  
Iris all of a sudden threw me to the ground. “oh, dear sister I don’t want to kill you yet just make you suffer” she kicked me in the stomach, the wind was kicked out of me. I couldn’t fight any more in fact I don’t think I tried as she kicked and kicked again. The pain was becoming unbearable and I could feel the will of wanting to succumb to darkness getting stronger.  
I was groaning in pain, coughing up blood as I tried to roll on to my side. Iris lifted me up into the air “the Elder one wants you dead dear sister and what better way to kill you than having your own blood do it” I couldn’t fight the feeling of hands choking me. I couldn’t gasp for air.  
I landed on the ground with a hard thud, there was a sword protruding from Iris, I looked in horror as the person who stabbed her showed them selves “Cullen?” I just about wheezed before passing out. “Fenris get her to a healer now” Cullen barked  
Iris stood and laughed “oh Commander you think a sword will kill me? Tell my dear sister I will be back to finish what I started and she will die” Iris turned into a whirlwind then was gone. Cullen went to help Fenris lift me gently and ran for the Chantry. They didn’t have much time to try and stabilise me. Due to Aly fighting Corephyus. “she is dying, and I don’t know how much we can do to keep her alive. Especially if we are about to trek the mountains. They tried to get to work with what time they had

What’s his condition?” Fenris asked a healer “he is weak but he will live, what happened out there? He has multiple bruising on his chest and three broken ribs” she asked  
“I don’t know” Fenris answered as he looked at me. Leliana found us in the chantry and walked up to Fenris. “Fenris? How is he?   
“He will live, and well her sister just tried to kill us”  
“oh” she looked back at me. Cullen had ordered the evacuation; Aly and her team were about to face Corephyus. Fenris had to carry me around into the mountains, he was not happy about it but I think that was more to do with that he felt it was his fault I was so hurt. I was still unconscious. It didn’t help that I was turning blue from the cold although I couldn’t feel it. Fenris could see how cold I was when he noticed my skin turning blue. So, he pulled me into him to keep me warm as much as he could without injuring me further. He kept giving me concerned glances. But didn’t stop to try and talk to me. We needed to get somewhere warm and fast.  
After a few hours we had made it to one of the evacuation camps we had set up. There was food tents and blankets for everyone. Fenris had lay me on a bed and asked Leliana to stay with me. Fenris had gone to check in on Garrett, but he was still sleeping. Fenris had decided that it would be a good idea for him to get some sleep. He had put Garrett and I in the same tent, that way neither of us were alone whilst we were injured. There was a noise outside our tent and Fenris awoke to see what was happening. It turned out Aly had arrived she was okay just exhausted and cold. He turned back into the tent to see that Garrett was just waking up. “Where are we? Where is Emy?”  
“Hawke im glad to see you’re okay, we need to talk”  
Okay not sure I like the sound of that” he looked around the tent and then to Fenris. “feel well enough to set up a silence on the tent?” Fenris asked and Garrett nodded and cast the spell. When Garrett nodded again Fenris began to talk. “you were dead, I don’t know what Emilia did but you were dead” Garrett looked at me and then back at Fenris with a shocked look. “Her sister almost killed her, she is still in a critical state and may not survive. Im sorry Hawke we did all we can for her, but magic needs to help her now and she is immune to healing magic, if she does survive she is going to be the one who feels responsible for everything that has happened. She may never be the same person again” Garrett moved over to me lifted me up and held me against his chest “I wont lose her Fenris, there has to be a way we can help her” he held me to him for as long as he could to muster up as much magic as he could. He concentrated all of it into healing me. “Hawke stop, your mana is dry your using your life force stop” Fenris grabbed him to stop him.  
“No Fenris, I can’t lose her she can’t die” he cried.   
“You cannot help her if you are dead” Fenris replied.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so sorry this chapter has taken a while to upload. I will try and get them up quicker in the future again thank you for reading xxx

Fenris had managed to convince Garrett that he needed rest and not to use all his life force to save me. Although how it happened I didn’t know his magic was enough to bring me back from the severe critical state I was in. I was still very injured and still not out of the woods but I was no longer on the verge of death. I awoke in the middle of the night; Garrett had been fast asleep and I was unsure where Fenris had gone. I struggled to get up to my feet, I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing just that I had to do it. I hobbled outside of the tent unaware that Garrett had stirred and was watching me. He followed me outside and continued to watch what I was doing, when Fenris and Leliana walked up to him “Inquisitor when did Emy wake up? And what is she doing?”  
“I don’t know nightingale; I don’t think she is even aware were watching her” they continued to watch as I bent down to the ground. I was unaware that I had spoken a few words before a light overtook me and the entire camp. “what did she just do?”  
Leliana asked concerned “my injuries they are gone, I think she may have just healed the entire camp?” Garrett looked shocked  
“as are mine, I think your right Hawke although I’m concerned that she couldn’t do that before and now all of a sudden she can” Fenris explained using the magic wiped me out and I fell unconscious to the floor. “She’s exhausted herself” Leliana informed as she came over to check on me. “come let’s get her away from here and back into the warm. I will take Fenris to check the rest of camp and we shall report to you soon inquisitor” she nodded and began walking away as Garrett picked me up and took me back to the tent.   
I slept the rest of the night and woke in the morning. As I opened my eyes I noticed Garrett looking at me “little bird, I’m pleased your okay, you had me very worried”  
“Garrett? Your okay?” I breathed I gave him a pained smile.   
“I am thanks to you, Fenris told me what you did for me and we saw what you did for the whole camp last night” he looked at me concerned I gave him a questioning look and he just seemed to know to answer me “ Fenris informed me I had died and what you did to bring me back?” he asked  
“oh, um your heart stopped. Where I come from we were taught Cardiopulmonery resuscitation. Although it doesn’t always work it can restart the heart. It wasn’t magic, it was knowledge and I wasn’t ready to lose you. I love you very much and I couldn’t bear it if you died especially because of me, as for the camp this was all my fault so many people got hurt and many died I have to find a way to make it up to everyone” I explained as I cried “Emy none of this has ever been your fault, your sister is corrupted that is not your fault. We will find a way to help her but you cant blame yourselves for others actions. You do not force them to do what they do”.  
“how can you say that Haven was all my fault too many people died and so many were hurt Iris basically killed you to get to me”  
“I say this because it is the truth, had you not warned us, had you not set up evacuation plans, had you not already evacuated anyone who couldn’t fight and the animals, had this camp not been set up with these supplies many, many people would be dead now. Had you not done what you did last night everyone would still be injured. One thing I don’t understand? How did you not heal yourself?” he pulled me into his arms as he explained  
“I can’t heal myself; my powers are not for my gain. They are to help others and others only.  
The advisors had decided it was time to leave for skyhold the next day.Solas had explained to Aly that she needed to scout to the north. It took 5 days to make it there and the trip was hell. I had broken ribs and I couldn’t walk much, trying to ride a horse was unbearably painful. After the second day I had pleaded with Garrett to put me to sleep so I couldn’t feel the rest of the trip. He held me close to him as I slept in his arms for the rest of the trip. “how is she doing?” Fenris came up on his horse next to us “she asked me to send her to sleep the pain is too much for her. I’m worried that Haven will change her, she takes all the guilt upon herself. When in fact she is the reason that we are all here alive and no longer in pain, I’m unsure how to show her this” Garrett explained. Fenris looked at me then back at Garrett. “she is stronger then we give her credit for. We just need to show her that none of this was her fault and that may take time. Just be there for her and understand any shortcomings if they occur.”  
“Fenris thank you. You have been a great friend to both me and Emilia, we love you very much and we are glad we have you.” Garrett smiled as Fenris looked abashed  
“mmmnnn ditto” I murmured sleep ridden as I curled into Garrett as much as I could and Garrett and Fenris laughed “seems little bird agrees even in her sleep” Garrett smiled “I think she will be fine Fenris if she has us” and Fenris agreed.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a long update I’m trying to edit and change the next part of the story but I’m a bit stuck so i will try and update as soon as i can. Sorry i know its a short chapter. I am working on the next one as soon as i can.

Two weeks had passed and I was confined to bed rest or at least to stay in the room that was given to Garrett and I. I was becoming sullen and moody, all this confinement I had had enough and wanted out. “Garrett please I need to get out of this room at least for a little while please?”  
“Little bird” he sighed as he came to sit next to me on the bed and I curled into him “ look I know you have had enough of being cooped up in this room, but you almost died. You are injured and in pain, but you need to rest you need to recuperate” he hugged me closer to him  
“I know but I need to get out of this room please even if its only for a little walk please? Where I come from I was a healer you know that and please understand I know my limits and I could do with a walk. It will help me heal” I looked up at his face placing my hand on his chin.  
“I wont win against you will I” he stated “ fine a little walk but when it is too much I will pick you up and bring you back here whether you want me too or not” he matter of factly stated. I squealed in delight and pecked his cheek with a big smile on my face.  
We spent the afternoon taking a slow walk around Skyhold it was breathtaking more amazing than a game could ever make out. We approached the stables when a scout had approached us with Fenris they had requested Garrett in the war room so Fenris had remained with me whilst exploring the fortress “oh and Fenris, if she looks tired take her back to our room she may not like it but she needs to not push herself” Garrett explained as he walked off, I rolled my eyes and Fenris had agreed. We continued on our walk when we were approached by Cullen “ Lady Emilia may I have a word?” He asked “hello Commander what did you want to talk to me about?”  
“ I um” he looked sheepish and began to hold the back of his neck “ I wish to apologise for everything I have put you through. I know I was petty and cruel and you didn’t deserve that. I would like to make a fresh start if you would and maybe we could be friends?”  
“Cullen you don’t need to apologise, I understand why you were cautious, a friendship would be nice” I smiled as I replied.  
“You truly are a kind hearted person. With everything you have endured you still find the goodness in everyone.” He replied and bowed to leave I looked him with surprise and then to Fenris  
“Your innocence is what he means. Its that you display a kindness that many of this world cannot because of how they have been treated of others. Fenris had decided it was time for a break and that we would visit the Herald’s rest for a drink. As we sat down at a table Bull had decided to join us for a drink and a meal. “ so little witchy I hear we have you to thank for the healing of all our injuries and the camp before we got here”   
“Why the fuck does everyone keep calling me little? I’m not that much smaller then you lot” I groaned, bull had a booming laugh even Fenris smirked “yeah laugh it up short stack” I joked and bull continued laughing “ oh little witchy I do like you” he smiled.  
“ is there room for one more?” A voice said behind me  
“ hello Dorian” I replied without looking behind me and Fenris stiffened slightly I put my hand on his arm and he relaxed again  
“You know that is quite unsettling” he sighed as he sat down  
“I’m sorry I don’t mean to unsettle you. I forget that you don’t know me as well as I know you so I get a little carried away” I smiled sadly  
“Oh dear girl you don’t need to apologise unsettling isn’t always a bad thing it can keep people on their toes” he replied nonchalantly   
“I agree with the vint.” Bull chimed in and Dorian gave a look of disgust “ you have knowledge that makes people very wary of you or what they will say and do around you. This can be used as an advantage, if you wield the knowledge in the right way” he explained  
“ I have to ask why do I not make you both wary?” I asked this whole time Fenris hadnt said a word he was quietly appraising the two men sat with us I could see him thinking of whether they could both be trusted or not.  
“Oh that is simple in my case when I went to that future I found out about you and what you were about. That knowledge of yours you use for kindness and the greater good. I’m not wary of you because I know that the secrets you hold you only share for good reason” Dorian looked at me appraisingly “and what about you Bull?” Fenris asked as I thought about what Dorian had just said.  
“Oh that’s simple. I can read you like a book. I can see what you want to gain from the knowledge you share, I also know when you are lying. What knowledge you do share is to keep us all alive, don’t get me wrong I am intrigued by what you already know about us. But that doesn’t mean I should be worried that you will say something” bull admitted.  
I sat there gobsmacked it took a few moments before I could think of something to say “ um Bull?”  
“Yeah little witchy”  
“I need to ask you a favour, please don’t tell the Qun about me. I’m not sure that all my knowledge should be shared and if you add me to your reports events that I can help fix maybe made a lot worse and innocents could die”   
“ that was never in question. I know that my reports on you should not be shared the Qun would come here and convert you. At this moment Corepheyus is our issue.”  
“Thank you” I sighed in relief. We sat there for a while longer before Aly Varric and Garrett came to join us. Varric had suggested a game of wicked grace. Only difference was this time I wasn’t allowed to drink any alcohol and Garrett stayed sober too. He and Fenris had explained that I needed to heal so alcohol was out of the question and I pouted at them. Unfortunately they both seemed immune to my puppy dog eyes.


	31. Chapter 31

Eight weeks it took Talos and Solas to agree that i was healthy enough to start work back in the clinic. I missed working with my patients. Garrett and Fenris had been way to over protective, i was never allowed to go anywhere alone. Even. When i had started back at work Fenris was always there as an extra member of staff. Talos wasn’t happy about it but with people still reeling about haven she couldnt be more grateful for the extra pair of hands the clinic was still very busy with many minor injuries. Thankfully there were no serious issues. Garrett had explained to me about what i had done in the valley on the way to Skyhold not that i can remember, he told me i managed to heal everyone and i have no clue how i did it.  
The same week i had began working back in the clinic i was asked to meet the advisors and Garrett in the war room. It was time to get back to the problems a hand. I had to admit I wasn’t sure how things would go with Garrett being the inquisitor and adamant, would Stroud remain alive if Garrett didnt go into the fade? Could i stop Garrett going into the fade?   
I had explained my concerns to the advisors and to Garrett i was terrified that my being in Thedas is going to change the events of what i know. “We dont know that Emy’s being here will change anything for the worst”. Leliana voiced “we do know that some things have changed but we also have knowledge to prevent what lies ahead no? Even if things have changed we will still fight, the Herald is still very capable. Emy’s knowledge helps us to prepare for the worst at least.  
“There is something that i need to talk about now Emy is feeling better” Garrett interrupted and i looked at him he looked quite nervous “ in that shit show of a future i found out that Emy is a cure for the blight, your blood has an immunity it can cure the taint in others. What I’m about to say next is horrifying so if you don't want to know . I can explain it to the advisors. Aly and Dorian haven’t said a word as I’ve asked them not too” Garrett continued and i just nodded at him “are you sure?” He asked walking over to me and pulling me into his chest. “I’m sorry but its upsetting” he looked down at me as he pulled me into him “ its okay Garrett i think i need to know”  
“Okay so I’ve explained about what had happened with the empress and what Corephyus has planned next. What i didnt tell you is that after we found our inner circle in cells n the dungeon we found a small dark isolated room. It reeked of blood, as we investigated we found a body. I’m sorry Fenris but i think you had not long died. We were too late to save you. You had been tortured and your heart had been ripped out of your body.” Garrett explained still holding me as i gasped and looked at Fenris. He stood in the corner of the room showing no emotion but i knew it was bothering him was Garrett was explaining. “We had investigated the rest of the castle. It was bad everything was so fucked up. Emy we found you had been tortured in such barbaric ways. They had drained you of much of your blood how you were alive when i found you i will never know. You were beaten and bruised, starved. You were broken in many ways. You are the cure for Corephyus. You can cure the blight and taint for good. They drained you constantly and experimented on you they wanted to turn you like your sister. Apparently together you have the power to restore the veil and destroy the fade for good. Your a threat to Corephyus and his plan so he tortured you almost to death. We found that he had your sister kill Fenris to hurt you. Then Alexius had killed Iris and broke you. When i found you, you asked me to kill you. You were beyond help. You died in my arms.” He whispered the last bit but i heard it. There were tears in my eyes and i hugged him harder. I hadnt realised how my presence would affect the others around me or how much danger i would put the others into. I was beginning to realise that i was in very real danger that could end my life. Had it not been for Garrett, Fenris and the inquisition i would either be dead by now o worse living the nightmare Garrett has.  
“ this explains much” Cullen replied  
“Why?” Fenris asked  
“ When Lady Carpenter was found she had Red Lyrium protruding from her abdomen and shoulder. At the time we thought nothing of it as she hadnt seemed to have reacted to it. It is why i had her watched longer than necessary for the safety of the inquisition. I apologise my lady it was just to be sure that you were not a threat. It is strange although it didnt affect you i sense it on you. It is still very strong.”  
I finally understood as Cullen explained the reason he hated me so much it wasn’t because of me but because he could sense Lyrium on me and it affected his withdrawals.


	32. Chapter 32

A few days had passed since Garrett had told us of the events in that dark future. He was quiet and distant. I knew it had affected him more than he let on. He was sat going through missives one morning. I just had finished my morning wash and was only wearing one of his long tunics“ hey Garrett can we talk?” I asked he looked up from his work and moved so i could straddle his lap. I put my arms around his neck “please dont think I’m pushing you because I’m not.” I stated he opened his mouth to say something then stopped so i continued “do you want to talk to me about it?”  
“ I’m not sure what to say. You died in my arms. You asked me to kill you I’m not sure its something i can get over so soon.”   
“I’m not asking you too. Just know I’m here now, i am safe with you. I understand that it was bad there and you never want that to come to pass. But please know I’m here and you dont have to suffer. If you want to talk about it I’m here but i wont push you to tell me. Just please come back to me ive missed you” i hugged him and kissed his cheek as i went to stand he stopped me “ I’m sorry little bird i dont mean to be distant from you. What i saw it is not easy for me. I’m trying to think things through. Ive missed you too. He kissed me deeply and full of passion i moaned into his mouth i was falling apart as he kept kissing me drawing more noises from me.i broke away from his kisses panting and tried to stand only to find my legs were like jelly. Garrett smirked as he stood up and picked me taking me to our bed. “ this time i promise i will be here when you wake up” he whispered in my ear as he nipped at my ear and neck. His kiss was desperate but no less passionate its as if he had to tell himself i was alive. I got lost in the moment too. I wanted him as much as he wanted me.   
His hands moved under my tunic raising it up. He cupped my breasts twisting and fondling my nipples making me moan louder. I was so horny i began to dry hump him. He grunted as he sat me up to remove the clothes that were in between us. Now skin to skin i was so hot for him his lips attached to my nipples whilst his hand found my clit he started stroking me and i felt ready to lose myself to him. I wrap my hand around his cock and start pumping him “fuck” he grits out between his teeth. He pulls away from me and moves further down my body. He pushes his tongue into my clit and almost makes me squeal in delight. I begin grinding myself on his face and he takes the hint and pushes his fingers inside of me bringing me to orgasm. He continues his ministrations and shortly after the first orgasm another crashes over me. He smirks at me and begins kissing me so i taste myself on him as he pushes into me. With a pleasure able gasp I accept him and he begins thrusting into me slowly to begin picking up the pace until he’s pounding into me and I’m screaming his name as a third orgasm overtakes me. He continues pounding into me his thrusts becoming erratic as he orgasms himself. As he comes back to himself he sloppily kisses me and pulls me to him as i feel sleep beginning to overtake me i smile lazily and curl into Garrett. I awake a few hours later still in Garrett’s arms. I lay there watching him as he snored softly, i smiled to myself wondering how i got so lucky to have a man that loved me the way Garrett did. I was completely in love with him and he loved me too and it made me smile. As i was staring at him he woke up and noticed i was staring “ like what you see?” He joked  
“Mmmn yes i very much do” i giggled  
He pulled me closer to him and kissed my forehead “ good i like what i see too” he laughed “I love you little bird”  
“I love you too Garrett” i smiled and kissed him deeply. It was safe to say that we didnt leave our room for the rest of the day.


End file.
